MPD's Rants, thoughts and other stuff

Turning fourty

2008-11-30T21:03:00.000-05:00

It’s amazing when I just looked and seen it’s been almost a year since I have written on here. Guess time does fly when you have fun. Speaking of which it has been a great year. A lot has happened this year 2008. I turned fourty this year. I never really imagined what it would be to be this age because honestly I never planned on it. Live hard, die fast and leave a great looking corpse was my mentality for years. I’m glad that it never worked out that way. Honestly I have never been happier. I have a great woman now with whom I know she’s the one that I will be with for the rest of my life. Sometimes a person just knows and in this case it couldn’t be more true. My act has cleaned up quite considerably but don’t ever think that I have become this straight laced suburbanite like everyone else. I’m still me.

MPD

Back in the saddle

2008-03-31T23:27:00.004-04:00

I know what anyone that reads my blog is gonna say. It's been a long time. That I am well aware of. That whole adult thing sometimes gets ya all wrapped up in things in your life that take every second of the day. Don't get me wrong here. I'm not bitchin about it. It's just very different for me . My life now is where it's at for me. I have a great woman in my life that is very much my veritable equal in every way. With her I really cannot ask for more in a person to share a life with. She has found out over time that you really have to be a special person to deal with the likes of me. She just takes it in stride though and never even second guesses anything I do. That's what making a successful relationship is all about it seems. She has been at me to write for quite a while now on here. It's cool to have someone that supports the stuff that is important to you. This little page has lasted longer than relationships I have had. I'm thinking that my lady and this little slice of my own person internet will be around a long long time. I'll let ya know how it goes. Good to be back.

MPD

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!

2007-12-22T12:34:00.000-05:00

Since the holiday season is upon us. I would just like to say a little something. As far as I am concerned I still live in a somewhat free country. So I just wanna say fuck you and all of this political correctness that Canadians seem to exercise to not offend anyone. But, I decided to NOT care whether I offend people or not. Why you ask ? BECAUSE I CAN !!! Merry Christmas to all and a safe New Year.

MPD

Kevin DuBrow

2007-11-28T02:05:00.000-05:00

It’s hard to really realize how much time has really passed in a persons life when certain events unfortunate or otherwise happen. On November 25^th the voice that spawned the movement of 80’s metal was found dead in his apartment. I remember hearing Kevin back when I was a young teen and thinking to myself, wow. I knew right then after hearing the Metal Health cassette I would be hooked on metal, forever. Kevin was that guy that had the voice along with the personality to match. Perfect for metal I always thought. There is no doubt that anyone that truly knew what that genre of metal was/is about will tell you that Kevin was one of the first. A true icon that will always be remembered for his accomplishments and the gift he gave all of us teens back then……..Metal Health.

A fan always,

Shawn

Write On

2007-10-11T22:07:00.001-04:00

I had an accident this week. Not a car accident. It’s a long story but to sum it up short I ran into a steel door. With my ribs. So, I am off of work for a while I guess which sucks in a big way. Never had pain before like this and I know I don’t want it again. On the bright side I have written more of my novel which I haven’t done in a long time. What a great feeling to be inspired again and actually get something written down. When I told my girlfriend she was elated that I had been writing again and couldn’t wait to read it when she got here. I’m not sure who was more excited that there is finally more, her or I. She smiled when she finished reading what I had written. I gotta admit it makes you feel good when someone tells you that they are proud of what you have accomplished. Sure other people have read some of what I have written but there was never the same enthusiasm. There’s one friend who is an amazing writer and a family member that is insanely happy when I send them something to read that I have just finished. Other than my girlfriend and them no one else seems to really dig what I write. Who knows, maybe they aren’t as smart as we are and appreciate the literary arts. Not like I’m trying to impress those people anyway. Unless they are publishers.

Write On

Happy Turkey Day

2007-10-07T14:22:00.000-04:00

When we all just think for a second. We all have at least one thing to be thankful for. Sure we may have been through some rough times in the past. Myself for example, last Xmas I was alone. Watching TV and snorting some wicked blow all through the holidays. I saw no one and the ones I did hear from I told them that I had a “flu”. I just let the holidays and the months before it get me down to that point. Did I have something to be thankful for then ? Yes I did. My mom. After 39 years the woman still didn’t give up on me even though at times she told me she wished she would. She couldn’t though because she still tells me she sees so much promise and potential. Now, I see that as well. This year I have so much more to be thankful for other than my mother. I have a great woman that is like no other I have ever been with. I guess you could say bad choices lead to bad relationships. This time I am pretty certain that I made the right choice….finally. I have never really had anyone that truly understood the way I am or even if they didn’t they dealt with it because they liked the way I was. Now, I have that as well as support from someone other than my mother. I have many many things to accomplish in my lifetime and I had planned on doing it alone. I was happy with that conclusion but now having someone there with you to support and watch you succeed is a much better feeling. I'm gonna go with that

Happy Turkey Day

Easy Enough

2007-09-21T13:20:00.000-04:00

Ya know……If you stand back and just watch people and the things around you it really can teach you a lot. It also brought some things of my own to surface that I really hadn’t thought about in a long time. Probably the hardest thing we all will ever do as humans is hold a successful relationship. Sure we will have many over our lifetimes but whether or not one lasts is the true question. I watch people get together, really dig each other, a whirlwind romance then BOOM !!! it’s done. It’s easy enough to figure out why that happened. It wasn’t the right person. That’s it that’s all. There should be no analyzing the hell out of it. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out the way we had hoped. I’m a true believer that there is someone for everyone. In all my years on this earth that’s one thing I have never stopped believing in. In order to find that person though you have to keep moving forth and not looking back. It’s like a friend said recently. You really can’t go across the same bridge twice. You might go back half way from time to time but you can never go back across totally because it’s never the same. I really wish I had met this man years ago with knowledge like that. Then again you live and learn from life and all of its wonderful things it has to offer. Honestly, I have found someone that really does make me happy. It has been years since I knew or was with someone that I actually thought could truly understand me and the way I am and wouldn’t try to change me for the world. Trust me, I know I’m not the easiest person to cope with at times but that’s what makes me fun. What really makes it worth more is if the person accepts and likes you the way you are already. It’s what inside that matters man !! It’s how you feel when you think of or see that other person. When you think that way and feel those things that is when you know there just HAS to be something. Live it……explore it….and love every second of it. Easy enough

Ten Rounds

2007-09-03T02:56:00.001-04:00

I realized a lot over this summer. Different perspectives and thoughts have sunk themselves in that I could have never imagined myself thinking. When I bring down everything I have come to realize to the bare bones. It’s quite simply three little words. Life is life. You can make it as good or as bad for yourself but, one thing is a constant. It’s still life. Plain and simple . So what do you do ? Do you keeping making the mistakes you have made in the past ? Or do you finally learn something from them ? Do you keep thinking about them ? Or do you let them go ? There is choices in life too. That’s what makes it so good. Or what makes it a real bitch. Depends how you look at it I guess. Most of us would like to move forward but sometimes a thing of the past just seems to somehow re-appear. Sure it’s cool and comforting to have that feeling again but, it’s the past for a reason. Something brought you together. But, something much bigger pulled you apart. We don’t always win in life. As long as after the ten rounds you are the one left standing. You should be ok after all. Remember that.

Out for now

SR

All in good time

2007-08-07T11:09:00.000-04:00

Sometimes as much as it needs to be said. Telling someone the truth is one of the hardest things we will do as human beings. Especially to a close friend. I had a friend ask me my advice about a woman that he likes a lot . I had wanted to tell him for a long time that I think that she’s basically dogging him. Things are never done unless she wants to is how it seems to me. If this is the case already and if a relationship evolves from it what is the relationship going to be like? My answer to him was that it probably won’t be too good at all. I know he knows that I am right. I also know that he put a lot of faith into this person and the end result is that he is let down and disappointed…badly. As I sat there talking to him about this and being the voice of reason I looked at old emails I had saved on my computer from a woman I had put a lot of faith in not that long ago. I never would hate her because I know she’s a beautiful person and I was fortunate to spend some time with her. Even as short of a time that it was. I asked my friend what I should do about these emails. He told me that he thought I should get rid of them because even though the memories are happy ones, a lot of times a constant reminder is worse. As much as it killed me to do that I knew that he was just as right as I was about his situation. All traces are gone now no old emails, pictures of her because it was for the best. Having faith in a person that you care for is one of the greatest things I have ever felt as a human being. What you have to make sure of if at all possible is that the other person is strong enough to deserve your faith. All in good time my friend….all in good time

Harsh Realities,Heroin Diaries and a True Friend

2007-07-25T12:58:00.000-04:00

I decided to take my time writing this entry. It’s been almost a week in the making because I wanted it to be right. To be perfect as well so that it isn’t long and drawn out. I received notification a few days ago that the book I had been waiting for will be released very soon. In case you don’t know or remember. I’m a big Nikki Sixx fan. The Heroin Diaries is the book that I have drooled waiting in anticipation for. I read some excerpts online over the last few days and honestly it kind of weirded me out in a way . I will in no way shape or form try to compare myself to him because there is no way that I can. He has more money than I do. But to call a spade a spade I will do and it wasn’t that long ago I had demons of my own. These demons started way back in the day and I won’t give an exact time period of my life when they started. The few that truly know me know the answer and that’s all that should know. Different experiences in my life over the years always set it off. Usually heartache and/or some form of disappointment always seemed to be the reason. I never really did it for fun. I did it because it helped me cope. A year ago, I ran into the brick wall at full throttle , again. I hadn’t had anyone close to me die in a long time so I hadn’t given it much thought. Besides, after a long term relationship going down the tubes a few months before, the only person that really mattered to me at that time was me. In my life, relationships came and went as fast as an order from a drive through window. It’s what I was used to. Picking the wrong women so that I always had a way out if I needed it. But at this time last year I lost probably one of the few people that I actually gave a shit about. After I realized that he wasn’t coming back the demons just didn’t come knocking. They took over. I called the one person I knew that has anything I want and knew she would always give it to me and never judge me. She was no angel either. I binged for days on end trying to find that “perfect line” that would just make it alright. None of them did. As the days closed in towards when we all would have to bury our friend I became more and more a wreck. The funeral was a complete disaster in my head. As much as I wanted to feel something then, I couldn’t. It was like I wasn’t even there and it was all a cruel dream. Although looking back, even as fucked up on blow that I was. Mark still got through to me enough for me to be able to write a piece that was read at his funeral. I was always fucked up a lot of the times when Mark saw me. Somehow though he always got into my head. I stopped the day I got home from the funeral. As sick and out of my mind I was for the next few days I did manage to gain control of the demons again. I will never lie to anyone that I don’t do it anymore. I do indulge every so often but at least I can walk away now with just an appetizer and not the whole buffet. It’s actually kind of overwhelming right now sitting here writing this and looking back at the person I was a year ago. But in ways I am glad I am here. It took some really harsh realities to get me to realize that as much as I would like to believe I will be here forever, I won’t be. Now, I can accept that..

P.S. Yesterday may be long gone brother. But I know you’re always there

Opportunity

2007-06-14T00:40:00.000-04:00

It’s been a while since I have written anything hasn’t it? A few reasons why. First I have been busy just enjoying life as it is right now and number two the obvious, not a lot to write about. Seems I do now after my hiatus.

I have learned one thing since it has been just me living for just myself. Opportunity. Time passes us so fast that sometimes when we look back at different points in our lives we are left with things we wished we had done. Lately I have been saying and doing things I had wished I had done or said weeks, months or in a couple of cases years ago.

There also have been a couple of opportunities that presented themselves that I also backed away from. The only reason I backed away from them is that it didn’t seem like the right time…..yet. Others there was no time better than the present so I did what I should have done then. I seized it.

Right now I can say I am happy with the way things are in my life. Sure I want more but until that right “opportunity” comes knocking at my door I’m good the way I am. For now

Pit Stops

2007-05-12T02:53:00.000-04:00

So if I were to ask you this question what would you say right off the top of your head ? Do you believe there is someone for everyone ? Think about that for a second. My answer is that yes I do believe that there is someone for everyone. Just sometimes it takes longer for others. The other day I asked a friend that question and she said the same thing. Life is a journey for damn sure and there will be many many people we meet and are with for a certain length of time but they won’t be “that person”. Everyone you are with from that moment on is just more or less a pit stop. With some of those pit stops I sadly put it in gear and went on down the road. With others I put the pedal to the metal and got the hell out of there wishing I had never stopped to begin with. The one thing that every pit stop has in common is that it was nice to have someone to share life with. Even for a little while. I will admit after my last relationship fell out from under me I was a little jaded for quite a while. Ok I was a lot jaded. It has that effect on a person when you see so much promise in a person and then in a split second have it all pulled away from you…..again. As the miles passed away from the last couple of months of losing all of that it wasn’t so bad and I wasn’t as jaded about relationships as I was. Once you see that person getting dimmer and dimmer in the rear view mirror sometimes you just want to slam the brakes on but you know it’s best to keep barreling down the road because sadly enough she was just a pit stop too. She may have been the best time of your life but you still have a half a tank of gas. You’ll run out of gas when it’s time.

Noah Mark

2007-04-17T13:00:00.000-04:00

Noah Mark..born April 2007

This ones for you as well as your dad little man.

Words are sometimes hard to find. They are usually the hardest to find when it’s the easiest or the hardest thing to say or feel. This time, it’s both. I’ll try my best though. For your dad. Your father was the greatest man I had the fortunate to come across. He is the man that you will see only see in pictures. You will know though how your dad was though by the people that were the closest to him. Your mom, myself and any other of his closest friends. He left a piece of himself in all of us and changed us forever. Those pieces you will see for the rest of your life because none of us will ever be that far away from you. Mark gave us something not a lot of people can give so easily, acceptance. He saw in us one common thing, hope. He never judged, he just loved his brothers and sisters. Under all that ink and tough biker exterior lurked a heart of gold and love. I had never seen anything like it before in my life. Over time getting to know your dad he realized that under this twisted mofo as he used to call me. We weren’t that much different. I’ll be honest with you though because I know your father wouldn’t expect any less of me. As happy as I am that you are here. I still am having a really hard time writing this because I miss your dad so much. But, I’m standing strong out of respect so I can do him proud. Just know one thing if anything about your dad. Love. That was what your dad was all about.

Miss ya brother..............Always.......MPD

What was.........was

2007-04-13T03:38:00.000-04:00

Tonight I had a difference of opinion with a former girlfriend. It’s not the first time we have had differences of opinion but tonight was a little different. The way I see things like this is difficult to explain to people sometimes. Especially someone that you were involved with. What was.... was. What will be is probably not what was because that was a different time. This is now. Now is different than what was because what was is no more. I think that’s a pretty simple way to think about how, and possibly why sometimes it just can’t happen again. People change as they get older. We all do. Sometimes it’s for the better. Sometimes not . Seriously though do we really want to go back to somewhere we have already been and fail again ? It’s a chance that each individual needs to think about in that situation. Am I saying it’s not possible that it will work the second time around ? How am I supposed to know ? All I know is this. For anything to work with anyone past, present or future one must be happy with themselves first. I don’t need anyone to make me happy. I have that one all figured out all by myself finally. If you just look around the things that make you happy and glad you’re alive are the ones that loved you first. Family, friends children, nieces,nephews or whatever. They will never be “what was” because that will always be there. I soak this stuff up every day now and am glad as hell that I do have it. Sometimes, it just takes a little bit longer for that person to come along that may love you last in your life on that list of people that already do love you but, when they come along its there man. It’s there…for life

Out for now

Yer good ole friend

Shawn

Conversations with Maw

2007-04-10T00:01:00.000-04:00

The phone rang today around 10 am. It was my mother. First of all let me give you a little insight into my life and my relationship with my mom. If there was one woman I always knew I can count on it’s my mom. Through thick and thin, good times as well as the REALLY bad times my mom never left. She let me live my life but when she knew I needed her, she was there. So today we talked about me. Me as in how I was doing, if things were cool and if I had a new lady yet. She hopes and hopes that someday that I will find “the one” and that will be it. As I have told her time and time again. It will happen Maw. Just the ones that have tried, failed and didn’t cut the mustard and bailed for one reason or another. Wasn’t their fault I told her. I guess they just weren’t the right one for me and vice versa. The conversation was an unusual one as well as a proud moment for me. Maw told me that through everything I have been through and all the people I have met and been through hell with there is one thing that they as well as herself have for me……Respect. After all these years of being an asshole, criminal womanizing dope fiend as Maw today called it. She said she always knew that I had it in me to be the man that she imagined the first time she saw me 38 years ago. I don’t break easily emotionally but, today I did. It was a great day to know that I had that one person that believes in me and knows I will do great things with my life. Thanks Maw

I’ll let my main cat sum in up from a quote I found on his blog. Sums it up quite well.

It's funny when you look back. You sometimes have to hide your head in embarrassment from your actions, your ego, and your self importance. But, growth is what we do and realizing that, growing up is painful. When you're done with the pain you see clearer and accept who you are and know that who you were is just as important because it's a benchmark on how far we have actually come………….Nikki Sixx

Doesn’t get said any better than that

Out for now

SR

If you can't be with the one you love.Love the one you're with

2007-04-08T00:44:00.000-04:00

I had an old friend call me today. She was upset that her ex was getting married. I could dig what she was saying because she was with him for years. I knew how she felt though in a way because sometimes those old feelings never die. They just kinda get put on the back burner but never totally forgotten. The thing that stuck with me was that she has been with someone else for the past two years. She does love him and it's pretty evident when I see them both. It just seems that the "old love" hasn't quite died yet. Stuff like this just doesn't go away over night or sometimes it never completely does. The same with me as well. I saw a woman that I dated recently and truth be known I thought the world of her. I still do honestly but, bad timing or whatever just didn't make it work like I had hoped. The best strategy at the time was to just side step and not be seen. Out of sight, out of mind I thought. Had I thought it out more carefully it would have been nice to just see her face to face say hi and hear her voice. Did I side step for mine or for her sake ? I'm not sure now. But, in my friends situation as well as mine. Forgetting that special person that made you happy whether it was a short time or a long time is not really an option when you care genuinely for them. Life's weird that way.

Out for now

S

Gut Check

2007-03-31T01:15:00.000-04:00

The other day I was told that my last entry was a little brash and maybe a touch harsh as well. My response to that was that it was simply life. My life and the realizations that I only have this one life to accomplish what I set out to do long ago. It really meant no ill will or bad feelings to anyone that has been involved with me over the past few years. I know you all still read my writings by the way and I am honoured that you think enough about me to do so. It was just a simple gut check on my part. A time to say, “You know what? I’m glad that I met you. Got to know you and in some cases we had a good run. Too bad it didn’t work out.” You all gave me a gift. I learned something from each and every one of you. It has made me who I am now. I am the person that I know I truly want to be. It took each and every one of you to mold me and shape me. The person that you remember isn’t the same person as when you knew him because he has went beyond that point. He has finally came to the point that he did the gut check as previously mentioned. Now, this is me. In the flesh. I wouldn’t change me for the world now and I have all of you to thank from the bottom of my heart. I wish you well in life as well as all of your endevours now and the ones to come. Thank you

Shawn

Talking to Myself

2007-03-23T02:28:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had one of those days where all of the sudden you just knew what has to be done ? I woke up like that today. I just knew that there were people, ideas and other things in the last few months that I needed to give up on and let go of. As the day passed I knew more and more that this is what has to be done. It was pretty much like I was talking to myself. Just in my head though, because people think I am freaky enough as it is. I have held onto people and ideas that will obviously never be nor will they come to pass. They are simply dead ideas. I am ok with that because I know now that there is more to life out there for me. There are also many things that I must accomplish in this life. I have held off on my true dreams and sacrificed them for a feeling of the norm that I thought I was supposed to do like everyone else. I see that is probably not the case for me now. Life makes more sense to me now and I know that it is time for me. It’s time for me to do the things that I was put on this earth to do. To everything and everyone I gave up today. I am truly sorry but it is time for me now. I’m sure you will understand in time

Shawn

Compassion

2007-03-03T23:17:00.000-05:00

The more time that passes it seems I learn more about myself as a person. Today I learned something about myself with the help of another close to me. It’s very evident to anyone that knows me that I am a strong person. I have had to be to make it as far as I have in life. Today though, I learned compassion. It’s not like I didn’t have it before. I just never exercised it like I did today. If anyone deserved such a feat from me it is her. Circumstances arose that time with each other was hard to accomplish. She needed to see me more than my or her life would allow. This is where reality stepped in and took hold of things. It wasn’t easy for me either to not be able to have access to someone I held/hold so dear to me. At least she was honest and has enough respect to tell me how she felt about it. It was hard for me to hear this but, I did understand. I knew by looking at her face that she needed someone strong right then as well as a compassionate. As we sat there I wondered if there was a magical solution to how we could see each other more like she needed but so far I haven’t thought of a thing. Do I want this magical solution ? Sure I do. But as well I am thinking clearly about this. Sometimes life and responsibilities get in the way of something or someone you see that could be so good and you just know it would last. I hoped that as we walked out to her car that something would come to me but, it didn’t. I let her go for one reason. Because I want her to be happy and I am sure she wants me to be happy too. Will I ever hate her if I never come up with the magical solution to keep this together and never see her again as mine? I can honestly say that I would never hate her. She gave me a few things to take down the road of life with me. She gave me hope, faith in people as well as compassion. What’s to hate about that? Miss ya metalhead
Out for now………Shawn

Hope

2007-02-11T23:06:00.000-05:00

Sometimes we don’t know that we’re right where we are supposed to be in life, even when looking down the barrel of a loaded gun. Life has a way of showing us that pain isn’t always bad. Sometimes we need to grow from it.Today is all we have.Yesterday is gone,tomorrow is something non of us have the ability to see. Tomorrow may never come, life is strange, wonderful and painful. Pain hurts, but we hardly ever die from it.

I wish that those were my words because they are so profound and so true. But, it is from the man I admire, Nikki Sixx. Life was something that I didn't see much hope for myself to be happy for a very long while until I read those words. Today is all we have and we should make every day count whether we are with or not with someone. Those bad yesterdays that we have all had don't matter anymore because they are gone and we should have taken the best parts of the bad and learned from them. Life can be very strange. I couldn't agree more. Sometimes the best thing can blind side you before you even see it coming. Then you are left to sit back and it does feel like you are looking down the barrel of a loaded gun because you wonder if it will actually fire the right way this time, or blow up in your face again. The truth is life, love, and happiness is like a game of russian roulette. Sure you can stay safe and not even touch the gun. Or you can take the gamble and pull the trigger and get hurt a few times along the way. But, everyone gets a shot at life, love, and happiness at some point. Through the pain that we have endured there is light in the other side. With help from someone I am starting to see that is very true.

Out for now...........

You make it harder to say Goodbye

2006-08-07T06:57:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I am up at this time. What a time for an inspiration. I woke up with these words in my head because of a conversation I had earlier in the evening. Definitely one of my better recent songs this is. The fact is, is that love just doesn't go away that easily. Especially when you loved them so completely. I don't think I need to say anymore. I'll let the words speak for themselves.

You make it harder to say Goodbye

I miss you
Every day
When I wake up
You're miles away
Some things are just a shame
It's hard but
I know we're both to blame

In August
My life had changed
I found you
It's August again
Without you
My life is strange

We came so far
We came all this way
I know we can't make it right
But I think about you every night
The more I think
The more I care
Makes it harder for me
Because I know
You're not there

I can see your smile
I can hear your voice
But I know
I don't have a choice
Wish you were with me
It breaks my heart
When I talked to you today
You made me smile
Your words they stay with me all the while

But there's something
I just can't deny
Every time I talk to you
You make it harder to say
Goodbye

A lesson for us all

2006-08-04T17:16:00.000-04:00

I learned a valuable lesson today. I think the best word would be what Merelly used. Magical. Mark did something no one could have ever accomplished today. He brought everyone together. I learned today that no matter what arguments or conflict people may have with each other, we came together as one. That is pure magic all on its own. Today I saw people that I haven’t talked to in a long while because of one reason or another and I found out that those people still cared about me. I rekindled a friendship I should have never let go in the first place. It took Mark to make me realize that there are some people that you meet in life is what makes each persons life magical. Without those people in your life there is no magic and today with me seeing one person in particular I realized how much I did miss her and how the magic of the friendship was still there. Friendship is something that should be cherished always and never taken for granted ever in our lifetimes. As well without another of my closest friends, I could have never done this day on my own without Pam. The heartache that I feel I would have never been able to deal with had she not stayed by my side. To me I think that we all should have learned the same lesson I did today. To stay by one another, through thick, and thin. To give up our differences no matter how great or small and, take the lesson that Madman showed us. Love each other as he loved us all.

Madman

2006-08-01T02:12:00.000-04:00

Mark "Madman" Hebert

This day is a day that most people never wish to happen . Today, I lost one of my best friends. He was more than a friend to me. Mark was like an older brother that everyone wishes they had. Him and I met the first time he gave me a tattoo. At the time he was trying to prove to himself he was good enough and even though he didn't have the confidence in himself, I did. We became fast friends because we understood each other and knew where each other came from. There was nothing I couldn't tell Mark because he never judged me or anyone. Whatever makes you happy is what he always told me. Mark told me when I went through troubled times to stay strong and survive because he knew that I had it in me . I knew that if things got too bad for me at that point in my life he was always just a phone call away because he told me that . That's what a true friend or in this case a brother is all about . To help each other when the chips are down and help each other to make it . Him and I didn't see each other much like we used to because he found the one that was for him , finally. Honestly, I couldn't have picked a better person for someone that means so much to me . We both understood that we had lives and with having lives means seeing less of each other sometimes. But there was another understanding that we had . It was the understanding that we loved each other like brothers. To have that meant the world to me and I will never forget the day he said "I love you like a brother, man." Since I have heard of his passing I have had people throw some of the oldest clichés in the book at me to try to cheer me up. "Time heals all wounds Shawn." Right now that's kind of hard for me to believe. Writing this is hard enough on it's own but I am doing it because I feel I owe it to Mark and his memory. This wound will probably never go away completely but I will survive it and through surviving it I know that I will miss him . Right now I am thinking of the times we had together. That's the memories of him that make me smile and what makes me think how fortunate I was to have Mark as a good friend . I will miss you man. This is for Mark..........A poem

Brothers
Together, as Brothers
We've laughed and cried.
Together, as Brothers
We would fight side by side
These two different worlds
From which we came,
But in our hearts
We were one and the same.
This place this creed
That we live by,
I never would have dreamed
That you would ever die.
To those who remember
You were a man among men.
To me you were more
You were my best friend.
Someday, somewhere
We will meet again,
Because we will always be
Brothers to the end.

You may be gone brother but, will never be forgotten
Shawn

For the Evil One

2006-07-28T23:25:00.000-04:00

This is just a simple post. A special friend told me last night she has never heard this song before. I think it's a great song. This is just for her. Or whoever else might like the tune I guess. Just push play.
Out for now........MPD

New York Dolls

2006-07-27T02:09:00.000-04:00

Heres a piece of history for anyone that likes glam, hard rock,punk or heavy metal as much as I do. Without The New York Dolls. None of it would have ever happened. Here's a great article about them------> New York Dolls

Out for now......MPD

Changes

2006-07-24T23:45:00.000-04:00

I took up walking recently. In the last month I am down 12 pounds. Pretty cool I guess. Got some equipment coming in the next week or so. Heavy bag, weights, stuff like that. Time for me to get back at it I think. Took some pics tonight on my walk with my new camera. Nice area I think

These are taken on my walk to the store tonight

A nice walk, cool pics from my camera and losing weight all at the same time. I like it !!

Out for now........MPD

Buckcherry & a hottie named Mia

2006-07-23T16:23:00.000-04:00

I have a few things I want to talk about this time. As well I am going to do some pimping for a friend on her new site.

A friend turned me onto this cd a couple of weeks back. I never really got into Buckcherry before because to me it just seemed like another flash in the pan group. Man was I wrong. Their new cd "Fifteen" is nothing short of amazing. It's not that it has any thought provoking lyrics on it. It's just a good cd from start to finish. As I told my friend when I called her after I listened to it, it felt like I just got laid. Very good cd. A must have for anyone that likes hard rock with very sexual grooves. Try it out.

Since we are talking about sexy. Get a load of her huh ? That's Mia. It's been a while since we have been talking and she has a new site which can be found HERE Mia’s Site isn’t just sleazy porn that just shows you everything imaginable. Everything she does is done tastefully and well thought out is my personal opinion. The way the internet is now a person can see anything they desire. With Mia’s site, it’s erotica to a level that has been lost over time. Like I said, erotica, not porn. Sometimes it’s what you don’t see is far more arousing. The girl is definitely worth going to take a peek and get a membership for all you fans of very tasteful erotica. Plus she’s extremely hot and if I was closer to her I would DEFINITELY hit on her. She’s a nice girl too and without her I wouldn’t know the HTML that I know now.

Out for now
MPD

New Zealand rock band literally brings down part of house

2006-07-20T17:17:00.000-04:00

New Zealand rock band the Mint Chicks won't soon forget the night they brought the house down - or at least part of it.
The four-member group was playing at the historic St. James Theater in the northern city of Auckland last week when chunks of plaster fell onto the heads of two audience members, the New Zealand Herald newspaper reported Tuesday.
One 17-year-old youth required stitches in a head wound and the other, a young woman, was taken to a hospital with a concussion, the report said.
St. James manager John Griffiths said vibrations and sound waves from the music had dislodged plaster in the building, according to the report.
Lumps of plaster had fallen from one of the decorative portals, ricocheted off another fixture and hit the two concertgoers on their heads, he said.
"It's an old, old theatre, built in 1936, and there is a lot of ornate plaster work," the New Zealand Herald quoted him as saying.
"It was an exceptionally loud concert, the loudest there has been at St. James for a long time," Griffiths said.
He said the concert continued after the incident, but that workers had since checked the ceiling for safety.
Neither of the injured people wanted to talk about the accident, the report said.
The Mint Chicks were playing as a support act for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs at a concert billed as one that would "rattle the foundations" of the historic complex.

Now THAT'S a concert !!!!!

Name that celebrity bass player !!

2006-07-16T04:08:00.000-04:00

This dude is one of my fave bass players. Sixx is number one This guy is number two on my list. His grooves have always made me hard since day one. One of his grooves was the first I ever learned on a bass. Name that celebrity bass player !!

Dumb Fuck

2006-07-14T18:27:00.000-04:00

A while back a friend of mine gave me a digital camera to try. He told me he could never get it to work right. I never really gave it much thought until today. So I installed the software and did everything according to the manual. There were over fourty pictures on the camera when he gave it to me. He bought it last summer to take pictures of his impressive marijuana crop. I seen the crop. Was impressive indeed ! So theres no pics, every thumbnail was black. Weird I thought. Tried a few things during the day. Took more pictures, still all black. Well guess what ? Theres a LITTLE button on the side that OPENS the shutter. Dumb fuck. All day I worked on this. I'm really starting to believe the people that told me I should have quit drugs sooner. Wait'll I tell my buddy. Man will he feel stupid. Dumb fuck. The first two pics I took came out beautifully of my boys.
This is Allister

This is Sixx

Both were named with a Motley Crue theme. I know shocking isn't it ? At least I got the camera working now !!
Dumb Fuck

Out for now.....MPD

Pink Floyd co-founder dies

2006-07-14T05:40:00.000-04:00

Anyone that knows anything about Rock will know this mans name. Syd Barrett age 60 died this week apparantly of diabetes-related illness. I often thought about how Pink Floyd would have been had he not quit before they got big. I see it as a band that would have been even more huge that they already are. They are icons that will always be remembered by any of us Pink Floyd fans. Although had Syd stayed it could have been so....so much more. Rest in Peace Syd.

MPD

Speed Metal Time !!

2006-07-13T00:32:00.000-04:00

Click it and let it play. It's speed metal time !
Fuck I love this tune !!

Standard and plain just isn't my style.

2006-07-12T17:45:00.000-04:00

Wow !! That was a pretty deep previous entry huh ? See what happens when I wake up in the middle of the night ?? Made a list of things I need to accomplish today. I won't bore you with the whole list. The main thing was starting to write the novel I have been playing with the last few months in my mind. I got it started though now so no more fucking the dog on that one anyway. It should be a good story though. Not the standard monster story I assure you. Standard and plain just isn't my style. Before I forget. Here's a Short Film with Sixx in it. Have a great night guys. See you soon

MPD

What doesn't kill you. Makes you stronger

2006-07-12T05:15:00.000-04:00

Today was kind of a weird day for me. I did something I don't normally do. I talked to an ex girlfriend of mine from way back. Through a good friend of both of ours she got one of my email addresses and sent me an email. It has been a long time since either of us talked to one another. We never really hated each other like a lot of exes do. I just did a few things I shouldn't have when I was with her. Even though she always forgave my sins. I knew it was time to let this great woman have the life she deserved. Sadly, that didn't include me. As I would find out later after she convinced me to call her. She had been reading my blog for a few weeks now. She told me that she had wished that she had been around, for me. Through all of those "bad times" as she would call it when we discussed different posts of mine. As the conversation went on to other things it led to the inevitable. I should have seen it coming I guess. She asked me about a new start, with us. So it got me to thinking the rest of the day about if something like that could ever work. I didn't just brush it off. I actually thought about it logically. The answer came to me later on in the evening so I called her back and told her that no I couldn't. I just can't. If anything I should have been the one asking for the second chance, not her. The feeling I felt was kind of like when you break up with someone. Then you both sleep with someone else. Then you get back together. Nothings ever the same after because you never really forget about it. Even though you may try, it never completely leaves the dark recesses of your mind. As much as the romantic idea of being with someone from my distant past appealled to me. I knew it wasn't right. At least for now anyway. She understood what I was saying as she always seemed to. A great woman she is. She will make someone proud one day I'm sure. I realized that there's more work that needs to be done on me. Some soul searching I guess you could say. Not that I'm a mixed mental case or anything because I do know what I want out of life. The question is, when do I want it ? So for now that's what I am going to concentrate on. Just another thing I have to think over very carefully is all that this is. I know I will get through it. I've made it through worse. I found a good quote today from a blog written by a man that has been through a lot worse than I ever have been. If he made it then surely my soul searching will be a piece of cake.

From the Blog of Nikki Sixx

TO QUOTE A FAVORITE CLICHÉ

WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU
MAKES YOU STRONGER….

IM LIVING PROOF OF THAT…

Nikki Sixx
July 10th, 2006

So am I Nikki....So am I

Out for now.........MPD

" I don't know what I want "

2006-07-09T02:28:00.000-04:00

" I don't know what I want " Ever heard that before folks ? I'm thinking that way too many people say that way to often myself. What's so hard about it to figure out what is inside of you ? What are your dreams ? Your aspirations ? What do you want years down the road ? Society today is jerkin each other around so much that we are all starting to act like unsupervised mental patients. No I'm not just blaming women either so get off of the high horse there chicky. EVERYONE does it or has done it at one point in time. I'm just as guilty as the rest of you in times gone past. I had no idea what I wanted but I continued to bring people into my life only to throw them away like yesterdays newspaper. But I bet I have done something not a lot have either. I apologized to quite a few over time for doing what I did to them. It isn't because I felt remorse or guilt for what I had done to them. I did it so that they wouldn't become a statistic of " I don't know what I want " courtesy of yours truly. A lot of people can't do that because they are too chickenshit or high on themselves and see no cause for such a thing. Well you know what ? YOU'RE NOT !!! Get over yourselves already !!! Dumbass. Take me now for example. I'm single again and has recently started to date again. Dating blows the big one man !! Fuck I hate it. But, these things have to be done in order to find someone that suits you. Who knows, the right one could be out there. I have dated four women since and guess what ?? I have no plans of ever seeing them again. Why you ask? Because I heard four times " I don't know what I want " . Fuck that I'm outta here sister. Sorry but, I just don't have the patience anymore. This is what I am talking about though. Some person has probably fucked with these womens heads at one time and now they aren't sure of themselves nor do they trust anyone. Especailly men now. Thanks dickhead for ruining it for me, tool. I stuck out a four year relationship of " I don't know what I want " to " Ok I know what I want " and back to " I don't know what I want " to "Ok I think we aren't good together anymore " To which I agreed to because I DO KNOW WHAT I WANT !!! Truth is I don't hold any ill feelings towards her at all and wish her all the best of luck in life. Love ya baby and you know why too (softy) !! All those feelings of resentment and hate just fester inside of you and get worse as time goes on and guess what happens ? You don't know what you want then because of what's festering inside of you. Then you can never be happy with anyone because you're not happy with yourself. Just think about what you are doing next time if right now at this point in your life you are a " I don't know what I want " kind of person. Think about the other person because (a) the statistics of " I don't know what I want " people are waaaaaay too high and (b) because that person that you are with right now doesn't need to become an " I don't know what I want " person. Never know, they might be the person that is the one for you for all time as long as you try to keep a clear head, treat them as they should be treated and respect them as a person without finally giving in to " I don't know what I want " because it's easier. Think about it
Out for now...........MPD

" Whatever !!! "

2006-07-06T16:25:00.000-04:00

Whatever \What*ev"er\, pron. Anything soever which; the thing or things of any kind; being this or that; of one nature or another; one thing or another; anything that may be; all that; the whole that; all particulars that; -- used both substantively and adjectively

I never knew how one single word could be so irritating to me. It isn't irritating to me all the time. Just the context that it is sometimes said in. "Whatever" has become a word that is almost disrespectful at times. You know what I mean. When you are trying to get a point across and someone says "Whatever". For myself when someone says that in the disrespectful tone I can really say it pushes my buttons badly and makes me want to bootfuck that person something fierce. "Whatever" has become a word for the masses of less intelligent people as well. Ever heard someone say "Whatever" over and over again ? Shows me that they either have a lack of smarts, they just don't care or hell even an esteem level that's way low. Don't get me wrong, I use it too sometimes because it is an Engish word that is quite versatile. All I'm saying folks is that if you happen to use "Whatever" a lot you might want to think about it. Maybe a lot of people think you're not that bright if you say it a lot. Or, maybe they want to bootfuck you into the pavement like I do sometimes when I hear it. Just some good advice from good ole MPD

Out for now

House of pain

2006-06-25T20:23:00.000-04:00

Today was one of those days where now as it gets into the evening when I think of todays events I think. What....the.....fuck . I went to see a friend today. I'll call her "S". Now mind you S and I were involved at one point but, we both decided it just wasn't the right time for her at this point of her life. She's separated from her boyfriend now because well, truthfully he sounds like an asshole if I have to sit here and define it. She told me he was a wonderful person when they first met but soon he got back into the alcohol after their son was born. I'll call him "L" . He is a great kid and how he has managed to stay this positive I have no idea. He has heard his dad yell and scream every day of his life but yet, that's his dad and he loves him no matter what. So today, his dad was supposed to pick him up for the afternoon and spend some time with him. He forgot......again, as usual. S called him and he was pretty much trashed on the phone so that was that. He didn't see his dad again. As soon as I seen her come outside I knew he wasn't coming....again. I let her just walk away down the street because I knew she needed that right then. He looked at me and said "He's not comin is he Shawn ?" You know, that was a hard thing for me to tell a six year old. That no he's not coming but, I did. As best as I could anyway. I've never slammed the guy ever but, I am sure he's slammed me because I have heard it many many times but whatever. I'm not going to slam a kids dad because I know even though he is the way he is, that is his dad none the less. I just hope that he doesn't turn out like so many other kids from broken homes. A lot of these kids just wanted a mother or a father that they didn't have growing up. To listen to them, to love them and not have to hear the arguing, fighting or abuse that they saw or heard. It reminded me of a song I know of from a while back. The video is just as intense. Check it out

Out for now......MPD

Faster Pussycat Music Video Codes

Now Playing: Faster Pussycat - House Of Pain

Brought you by: Myspace Games

"To have loved and lost is better than to have never loved at all."

2006-06-18T04:50:00.000-04:00

"To loved and lost is better to have never loved at all." Remember that expression ? When you sit there and think about it does it really make sense ? If you look at the logic factor if you have never been in love then how would you know any better right ? Also, if you never loved you would never have to experience heartache or the loss of the loved one that doesn't love you anymore like they once did. So wouldm't that actually be better for someone if they never had to go through any of that ? Probably not most people would say, including myself. Love is something that is very precious when it it with the right two people. Love can also be a very dangerous thing as well when the love is lost. I know about that all too well. Honestly love has done me in pretty well at different times in my life. It has turned me into a drug addict more than once because it was a way to deal with the pain at the time. Not because of the rejection from the other person. It was the fact that I felt cheated. Cheated that I invested all that time into something that in the end was to no avail. Love has made me into something I am not with all the drug dependancy, alcohol and the usuals that go hand in hand with it. Love has made me bounce from one woman to the next to the next quite simply because I can. Now why did I do that ? Because no matter if it was a different woman, to me it was still the same one as I loved. Just a different face. Heres another old expression for you now. "With age comes wisdom" No shit !!! After my last relationship went all to hell for the final time I decided I wouldn't do the things I did before. Now mind you old habits die hard and it took quite a sufficient amount of willpower for me but I never went back to any of the habits. No dope, no alcohol and not just fucking anything in sight like I did before. Now why am I doing such a 180 this time? Because it is time is why. It is time that I just simply look forward and never look back at my well jaded past and forget..........everything. People that know me as well as my ex still tell me that I got fucked hard over the deal and that I wasted a lot of time. Maybe what they say is true but whatever. I'm not worrying about it any longer because now as sad as it is to say. She's just another chapter in my life. The chapter that is closed now forever and always will be. But do I regret falling in love with her ? Not at all folks. Well maybe sometimes I do (insert the BA-ZING here).

Out for now........MPD

Janine

2006-06-13T01:52:00.000-04:00

Something happened on the weekend that made me think of a time in my life long ago but never forgotten. I was driving and just got out of the city when at an intersection there was a bad accident. One of the two cars was identical to my most recent ex’s car. Instantly my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach when I seen the car. Fear and emotion came over me as I got closer. Truthfully, I don’t hate her in the least. I just think she a little fucked up and I would have never wished for something like this to happen to her ever. The car was pretty much destroyed but as I go closer I seen that it in fact wasn’t her car at all and I was relieved, very relieved. I was relieved in the fact that I would not be going to and ex’s funeral that I actually loved and cared for at one time because I already had to do that once and it was hard enough the first time.

I will call my then ex “Janine” because that would have been the name she gave her daughter if she ever had one. Janine was a woman that could light up a room when she entered. Why she allowed herself to be with someone like me at the time I will never know. I think that she saw something in me that no one did or would even allow themselves to get close enough to me for fear I would bite their heads off. With Janine I didn’t . I let her get close to me but in time the way I used to be took a toll on the both of us. The drugs the alcohol the infidelity, everything she always forgave me for because she saw promise in me she said and knew I was a good person if I would just let him out. After a while I began my rampage even moreso where Janine wouldn’t see me for days on end but every time was glad to see me home. She took so much for me. I would call her every name in the book when she tried to talk to me. But I did it because of fear. Fear of actually loving someone and letting my guard down and letting them love me in return.

As life makes its cruel twists as it sometimes does I left Janine a month before she went to the doctor and was diagnosed with leukemia. When I heard the news I was shocked. I didn’t know what to do so I did what I could only think of doing. I went to Janine. I felt like the Judas going to his saviour ever after the betrayal had already been done. As always she forgave me and told me that this was not my fault but in some way I did blame myself.

Over the next few months Janine worked with me and we became good close friends. I visited her every chance I got but over the next few months her condition worsened. It was seven months later when later at night a knock came at my door. It was Janines sister. She told me I had to go to her now because she needed me and I went. Janine grabbed for my hand and told me to sit wth her the moment I walked in. I laidwith her on the bed and held her for a long moment before anything was said. She told me she forgave me for everything I had ever done. She wished that it could be her that spent the rest of her life with me but now that would never happen.

I stayed until morning and then left her and went straight to work with no sleep. That day my supervisor at the time told me he had some bad news for me. She had died about an hour before. I left work and my rampage began moreso than it had ever been. I flirtred with drug s to the extent that they finally managed to get a good hold on me and then was my second time on being hooked again. I went to the funeral but I wasn’t really there it seemed I was miles away from anyone and personally I didn’t care very much because all my faith in anything was gone for good. I had no one or anything anymore so why try ? I didn’t try at all on anything or anyone. Then, one day I found a picture of Janine on my coffee table. I don’t remember it ever being there but it was now. I stared and looked at it and emotions flooded like they never have before. To me this was like a sign. A sign saying you have to get a grip on what you are doing otherwise you wont be far behind me. I took it as just that and stopped everything. The drugs the alcohol everything. To this day I have kept that picture of her as my own personal little secret. No one has ever known about the picture because I kept it safe. Safe that no one could ever take it from me or even know about its existence. As I write this she is looking at me because the picture is right beside me where I know in my heart Janine is, and always will be.

Out for now…..MPD

666

2006-06-06T23:36:00.000-04:00

Guess what today is !!! 06/06/06 or to make it simpler.."666". Ya know I didn't even realize it until a friend informed me of it . She said "Honey today's your day" But then after I realized that I felt obligated to have ritual sex or something. Didn't happen because I was at work which just sucked. Maybe some other time I will to make up for it. If i wait until the next 666 day I'll have to wait another one hundred years and that just isn't very cool I don't think

Out for now..........MPD

Fall To Pieces

2006-06-06T03:25:00.000-04:00

Music Videos | Scottsdale Real Estate | Myspace Games

Even when you think you are alone when times are tough you're not really. And when things seem to be at their worst. They get better........Eventually.

Cock Pic for Mia

2006-05-28T19:06:00.000-04:00

I had a conversation with Mia about men sending women cock pics and it inspired me. She says people know better than to send her them. So I am going to take the chance and post a cock pic here anyway

Out for now.......MPD

Gay men , laundromats and realism

2006-05-24T23:20:00.000-04:00

Monday was kind of a good day I guess you might say. Other than the fact that I had to do laundry. When I tried to do that my local laundromat was closed so I had to find another across town. It wasn’t really a bad thing though. It was a nice one I went to plus they had video games so that occupied my time as well. To top it all off they was a “gay couple” (men) doing laundry so of course that entertained me immensely. No I don’t have anything against gay people. It was just kind of funny watching them but, it wasn’t hard to pick out who was the “woman” either. A friend of mine happened to walk by when I was going out for a smoke. Seems he was going to the store next to the laundromat. So I yelled HEYYYYYY!!! like I normally would. His names Scott and he’s a dude you would not want to mess with. If you had any sense you wouldn’t anyway. He told me I looked like hell which was probably true because a friend of mine took me out and got me very drunk. She told me I needed it but the way I felt I don’t think I really NEEDED it but, it was fun. I think ?? Scott and I came to the conclusion that we haven’t seen each other for almost four years. Seems like a long time when two people are friends like we are but it always seems we can just pick up where we left off. Which is a true friend I guess. After talking for a while we found out both of us are single, again. Scott told me after 5 years he was no longer with his girlfriend and I told him I was pretty much in the same boat. Now that I sit here and really think about it and analyse the fuck out of it like I normally do I would say my relationships been pretty much over for five months now in all reality. Scott’s always been like an older brother or mentor or whatever you want to call it. He patted me on the back and told me I would make it like I always do. I’ve seen you at your best and your worst too. You’re not even close to your worst, man he said . I know I am not at my worst because my worst wasn’t a very fun place to be so I can’t nor will I allow myself to ever get there again. But, it makes you sit and wonder sometimes because when I was a jerk I never had these problems. So it makes a guy like me think, a lot. I know it does Scott too because he told me and we both remember how we used to be and life was so much easier then. I would have to say as time goes by a person takes stock of themselves and fixes the flaws in their life they think they have. Sometimes yes it would be a hell of a lot easier just reverting to the ways of the past and be done with it. But , does a person really want to do that just so they don’t have to deal with things? Some do, some don’t . I guess it’s up the the person really on whether or not they are happy with themselves they way there were/are. Now at age 37 I do know what I truly want in my life. A lot of dudes have no idea what they want ever. I can’t imagine not knowing that. Guess I’m one of the fortunate ones.

Out for now…..MPD

Goodbye

2006-05-20T03:02:00.000-04:00

Today I decided to go for a cruise. Just to get out of the house and my mind off of stuff. It was nothing fancy, just a cruise. But after dealing with everything I have had to deal with there's still these little doubts in my mind that make me human, I guess. Things like, how many more failed relationships am I going to have to go through and endure the loss and the heartache that goes along with them. This isn't an easy thing for me because I have grown as a person because now it isn't as me for me to just let go like I always did before with women. Life has changed and maturity has set in. Lucky me huh ? But the true fact remains that I will have to let ago , again. Something clicked inside of me though as I drove and had the radio on. I heard a tune I haven't heard for years but, it made sense, a lot of sense , to me anyways. I thought I had gotten everything out of the way and out of my mind in my last post but, I guess I didn't. As much as I hate to say it the song today did it for me and as much as I didn't want it to give me closure. it did anyway. So I'll leave it with the song now. Explains it far better than I ever could about me

Out for now...............MPD

Goodbye

As the sun hides his head
For another nights rest
And the wind sings His same old song
And you on the edge Never close, never far
Always there when I needed a friend
But it's hard living life On this memory-go-round
Always up, always down
Spinning 'round and 'round and 'round
And all this could be Just a dream so it seems
I was never much good at goodbye
There once was a time
Never far from my mind
On the beach, on the 4th of July
I remember the sand How you held out your hand
And we touched for what seemed a lifetime
But it's hard Leaving all this behind me now
Like a schoolboy so lost
Never found until now
And all this could be Just a dream so it seems
I was never much good at goodbye
And it's hard Living life on this memory-go-round
Always up, always down
Turning 'round and 'round and 'round
And all this could be Just a dream so it seems
I was never much good at goodbye
And all this could be Just a dream so it seems
I was never much good at goodbye

Goodbye

This is life

2006-05-14T20:10:00.000-04:00

Ya know, sometimes life is just fucked. Just when you have some hope in something or someone thats just seems to crash in all around you. That one bit of hope, gone forever. It makes a person feel that all hope in anything or their fellow man is useless, pointless or whatever you really want to call it. That is when you sit back and wonder why do I even try ? The person that feels this way is obviously damaged. Then if it was another person that made them think like this they wonder if that person even cared at all. It takes a toll on a person when they think that this final outcome was probably always going to happen but they put faith in the one they thought would never hurt them but has, time and time again. So what's the solution then ? Or is there one ? That's hard to say because it depends on the individual. Some do drugs to ease the pain. Some drink to ease the pain. Some do both. Some just say fuck it and end it all. Least the hurt goes away for them then. But to go back to the other person scenario. Some actually feel apathetic for the other person. The one that did the hurting. To me that person is a real genuine person because if someone can actually feel sorry for the person and know what kind of lonely life they will lead. That takes a special person to be able to care about the other persons feelings. Even though they didn't really seem to care about their feelings. That is a person that sure even though that hurt will never go away because that one person that you allowed yourself to trust hurt you the most but, the hurt subsides in time. Does time heal all wounds ? I don't think it really does. It dulls the pain to a tolerance that is manageable and nothing more. But should life go on for the person that put that much faith in another person to only have it smashed and handed back to them ? Yes it should. Even though it will probably be the hardest thing they will ever have to do. After, they will have an even better understanding of life. Life is what you make it and to let a person deprive you of happiness is wrong, very wrong. Does anyone want to live a lonely existance because they decided to not have faith anymore in anyone. Does anyone want to be afraid of life and end up hurting others because of their fear of life, love and happiness? I don't think anyone wants to be afraid of those things but, some people are and that is truly sad. If you ever listen to one thing I say it is this. Life is for love, happiness, being able to share it with others and the one true love and most importantly, life itself. Without being able to have those you are deemed to someday live alone, by yourself and full of regret that that one person you let go and watched them move on with another you should have never let go but had them for yourself. I'm glad that will never be me.
Out for now.............MPD

P.S.....................Love always

Space Cocks

2006-05-02T12:41:00.000-04:00

This piece of artistic talent was brought to my attention a few minutes ago. I've seen a lot of really dumb shit in my life but this HAS to be the capper of them all.
Hit the link -----> Space Cocks

Anal Love

2006-05-01T11:49:00.000-04:00

Heres an interesting conversation I had with a buddy a few minutes ago.

Phone rings

Me: Hey fucker

Him: Hey fuckhead guess what I did on the weekend

Me: What ?

Him: Ya I scored a hottie and did some backdoor action

Me: And ?

Him: What do ya mean AND ???

Me: Ok lemme get this straight. You got a chick to do anal with you and you're tellin me about it?

Him: Yes !!

Me: OK then !!! WOW !!! YAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Him: Why do you have to be like that ???

Me: Like what ?? So it's not that big of a deal to me as it is you I guess

Him: Why can't ya just say Hey man that's awesome !!

Me: I did

Him: Ok whatever then

He hangs up the phone

Wow now I am wondering who did the pitching and who did the catching

Out for now.....MPD

Cholesterol

2006-04-29T21:17:00.000-04:00

1 pound of bacon
4 slices of bread
half a slab of old cheese
a lot of ranch dressing
equals 2 awesome bacon sandwiches

Priceless !!!

Ya ya I know it's got cholesterol but wow that was soooooo good

You're invited but your friend can't come

2006-04-24T23:15:00.000-04:00

Remember when Vince Neil left Motley Crue and released some solo stuff? I found "You're invited but your friend can't come" on the net. Man I always did love that song. I think his solo stuff was cool but it couldn't replace Motley. Then again what can right ? Hearing that tune brought back a lot of memories actually. Memories about drinking, partying and sex of course. Ah yes weren't those the days fellas? The days when we were just as excited about the new Avon and Mary Kay catalogues as our then girlfriends were? All the eyeliners,hairspray and lipstick. I never was a blush man myself though. That was such a time of decadence it astounds me how I made it out alive. Sure my friends and I may have looked like some transexual hookers but, the women ATE IT UP !!! The long freaky hair and all the makeup did a helluva job. But hearing Vinnies tune just brought back so much as well as a smile. A big smile. Ya know folks there have been a lot of great things happen with each generation but personally I wouldn't have wanted to be in a different one. The heavy metal, long hair glammed out look that spoke of and was sex drugs and rock and roll and having a good time was my place in history. Glad I was a part of it.

Out for now.....MPD

Sundays and Stupid people

2006-04-23T16:46:00.002-04:00

I just got back from the grocery store/mall. Why does it seem that Sunday's are designated for all the stupid, ignornant, impolite people to go out into public in droves ? So I was walking down the main aisle of the grocery store when this kid comes flying out of one of the side aisles and whams into me. I think it hurt him more than me though because he got the bar in the chin. I just looked down at him then the I would presume his parents. They had the NERVE to give me a dirty look. I just went on my way to avoid any further confrontation. I did happen to notice that farther down the kid knocked over a WHOLE DISPLAY. I laughed to myself when I saw that. Bet the parents felt really good then that they let the little bastard push the cart wherever he wanted. Sure wouldn't act that way if he was my kid. I got my stuff and checked out without a hitch which was cool. Got them all packed away in my car and decided I needed to go to Wal-Mart. I sat and lit a smoke when behind me I hear this HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK !!!. Remember here I am in a parking space with HUNDREDS of others to choose from and this dude decided he wants to move up in mine instead of being in the one he was behind me. Soooo being the considerate caring individual I am I shut my car off, unbuckled my seat belt and got out and started to walk back. I guess the gentleman didn't see the considerate caring individual and decided to back out very quickly and book as fast as he could. Gee, could it have been something I did or the way I look ??? I sure as fuck hope so !!!!

Out for now.....MPD

My wife has my bank card

2006-04-23T01:47:00.000-04:00

I had to go to the store a few minutes ago. It would seem that I neglected to have enough smokes for the evening. I did my rounds to see if there was any junk food I thought I needed. Ya like I need junk food. I passed though and went to the newspaper stand to find out about the trial about the '>Bandido massacre a couple of weeks ago. A dude ahead of me needed smokes it seemed as well. He got what he wanted and when he proceeded to pay for it he said “Oh no my wife has my bank card “ I cringed when I heard that because I knew what the guy was going through. I remember myself being in that situation and saying the exact same thing “Oh no my wife has my bank card “ . I did what any self respecting man would do when I got home. Fuck that there’s no way in hell you or anyone will ever have my bank card again !!! So , after I got my new apartment after she kicked me out it took a while to adjust to the single life again but, I did just fine. I’m back on top again and still have my job, my car and a cool place to live. But at least I still have my bank card !!! Guess I showed her.

Out for now……..MPD

What the FUCK ???

2006-04-19T14:07:00.000-04:00

I usually try to stay out of political debates and keep my opinions to myself. To me this world is dismal enough without yet another person shouting out their opinions. But THIS really has to stop !!! "President George W. Bush, asked whether the U.S. would consider a nuclear strike to prevent Iran from developing atomic weapons, said yesterday ``all options are on the table,'' while stressing diplomacy remains his first choice" What the fuck ?? A NUCLEAR STRIKE ??? You have got to be kidding me !! Holy fuck Dubb Ya havent't you done enough already ? Ok now let me stop for a bit before you get all freaky on me. I agree here that something has to be done about this shit but a nuclear strike ?? Fuck me !! He does that and I pretty much can say we are all FUCKED. Mostly I feel sorry for the troops that get sent over there and end up dying for a groups personal greed. And YES I do think it's all about the almighty dollar, oil and world power. New World Order here we come !! But in all this conquest has anyone thought about the great people that fight for their country? The friggen Marines that die every day and for what ? I commend the USA troops especially the Marines but seriously what are they dying for ? Is there a war goin on ? NO !! Is the USA being invaded?? NO !! What about Katherine Cathey ? I read Her Story yesterday over at Big Dicks Place She lost a lot I think and so did the baby that will never know its father Jim Cathey. This article shows who suffers here, the people, the real people who stand and fight for what they think is right. I do agree that Iran doesn't need nuclear weapons. Fuck do I ever agree on that. But if Iran can't have them then why should any other country be allowed to have them ? I thought according to the God fearing President we were all created equal? If that is the case then shouldn't they dispose of theirs as well to show an act of faith to other nations that they pose no threat to them as well ? Or is there another reason why they have no ambition to destroy theirs but yet oppose other nations having nuclear capability ? Something for you to all think about I guess

Out for now..........MPD

Easter, Booze and Mass Murder

2006-04-15T16:42:00.000-04:00

Easter is upon us again folks. Time for the egg hunts, dinners and whatever else ya got planned. Me, I just dig the fact that it's a four day long weekend for me. I've had a taste for beer for the last couple of days so went and bought six Heineken and six Lowenbrau. I always did like the imports better. Even though my buddies said only homos drink imported beer but fuck them. I like the good stuff. It's been a week now since the big mass murder in my area and who would have thought that a small town like that could make world news. If ya want to read the whole story its Here . Ok time for me to enjoy my booze after the first week back at my job. Have a good Easter and be safe

Out for now.....MPD

Shit and other cool words in Canada

2006-04-14T23:05:00.000-04:00

Shit
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

For the excretion of bodily wastes, see feces.
Shit is a vernacular word in Modern English denoting feces, the byproduct of digestion. It is an old and native English word, but following the Norman Conquest, Norman, Anglo-Norman, French, and Latin terms for many common objects and bodily functions began to be seen as more distinguished than native words, and thereafter feces became the accepted English noun, to defecate became the accepted English verb, and shit was no longer used in polite company. It is therefore a swear word and can be classed as a use of 'slang', for example, "Shit!". Though it can often be used in a non-pejorative manner, as in the slang: 'that's the shit' to mean 'that's good'. The term "shit" can also be used to describe poor conditions, for example, "That is rather shitty!".

Look up Shit in Wiktionary
1 Etymology
2 Usage
2.1 Adjective
2.2 The verb to shit
2.3 Other parts of speech
3 Acceptance
4 See also
5 External links

Etymology
Scholars trace the word back to Old Norse origin (skīta), and it is virtually certain that it was used in some form by preliterate Germanic tribes at the time of the Roman Empire. It was originally adopted into Old English as scitte, eventually morphing into Middle English schītte. The word may be further traced to Proto-Germanic *skit-, and ultimately to Proto-Indo-European *skheid-, "split, divide, separate." Conceptually, it refers to that part of the body (the excrement), which is "divided" from the rest of the body. It is related to the verb "to shed" (as in, "to shed one's skin"), "schism", and other words in common English usage. In Ireland the phrase "I'm shitting myself laughing" retains the older pronunciation "I'm skitting myself" but this may be due to more recent euphemisation.

"Shit" has cognates in many other Indo-European languages, including Greek, where the cognate root skor, skato- has been borrowed into English and forms the basis of scatology and a host of related technical terms. The most likely common word for "shit" in Proto-Indo-European would however probably be *kakka, (cf. Latin caca, Anglo-Saxon cac, German kacke, kacken ["poo, to poo"], Turkish kaka or bok, Irish cac ["dung"], Russian кака, какать ["poo, to poo"], and Greek κακός ["bad"]). This may indeed be the origin of the term "poppycock" (used as a softer form of "bullshit"), through Dutch.The word "shit" is also another word for poo as is fuck.

The variant form shite is found in many regional and social dialects, especially in Scotland, Ireland and Northern England where it is generally used as an adjective, and is sometimes used in other parts of the world as a less-offensive (at least in intent) form of the word "shit". Shite can also be used by people in North America to sound funny, as it is not usually used. (In the American English context its offensive potential may be somewhat mitigated, as are arse, bloody, and some other British forms of profanity.) In Ireland, poor items are often described as 'a pile of shite.'

Spoken and written substitutes for the word shit in American English include sugar, sugarplums, sheesh!, shoot!, shizzle, shucks!, as in the constructions, Oh, sugar! Sheesh, that was a close one, Aw, shoot!, and Aw, shucks! Foreign language versions are also often used such as "Scheisse" from German or "merde" from French. These are colloquialisms that are rather complex in usage, with sugar accruing mostly to female speakers in the American South and many rural contexts, shoot being near-universal, shucks enjoying occasional vogue in many contexts, and sheesh being predominantly urban, as well as doing double duty by crossing over with the term, sheez, which is in a continuum with jeez, a euphemism for Jesus. All of these terms are considered polite, mildly comical, and archaic, although none is an archaism, and all remain in general use. Countless words beginning with the phoneme, sh-, have seen duty as quick and improvised substitutes for shit by polite Americans, on occasions in which thumbs have been banged by hammers and stepladders have slipped their purchases.

Several foreign loan words in English are carefully spelled so as to avoid the sequential grouping of the letters, s, h, i, and t. The word shih-tzu offered a mediating h and hyphen long before such care was common in Romanizing phonetic Chinese. Shi'ite sometimes carries an apostrophe to further insulate it from homonymy. (However, this is also an alternative colloquial pronunciation of "shit"!) Produce departments in U.S. supermarkets take special care to use a double letter "i" in the labelling of shiitake mushrooms. The German-Jewish surname Lipshitz has been subject to many reconfigurations and legal changes, although holdouts yet stand firm. (The surname Shitz, however, appears to be abandoned, as any individual who held it would find their first name unwillingly and irrevocably engaged in a grammatical but unflattering sentence.) It has also been the subject of numerous jokes, such as "Doctor Lipshitz" the parenting coach on Rugrats.

Usage
The word shit is used by English speakers, but it is considered an obscenity, and thus is usually avoided in formal speech. A less vulgar substitute is crap, which while still impolite and/or emphatic, is not considered obscene. The correct vernacular usage of crap is mostly identical, with certain key exceptions (see below). Many people receive satisfaction from the usage of the word and see it as, subsequently, a good way to relieve stress. Such phrases include Oh shit!, the more polite Shit-ake Mushrooms!, or Shitty Shitty McShitty Shit which is more vulgar and meant to convey extreme anger.

Used in a sentence one may say 'I have shit on my shoe', 'You smell of shit!', or 'your a big steaming pile of shit, nobhead' These can refer to the literal meaning or merely as a vulgar insult.

In the word's literal sense, it has a rather small range of common usages. In American English, an unspecified or collective occurrence of feces is generally shit or some shit, a single deposit of feces is sometimes a shit or a piece of shit, and to defecate is to shit, or counterintuitively to take a shit. While it is common to speak of shit as existing in a pile, a load, a hunk and other quantities and configurations, such expressions flourish most strongly in the figurative. For practical purposes, when actual defecation and excreta are spoken of in English, it is either through creative euphemism (pinching a loaf, laying some cable, seeing Mr. Brown off to the coast, dropping the kids off at the pool, brewing up a pot of s.h.i. tea, releasing the prisoners, lighting a bum cigar, cutting a log, dropping a deuce, making sausages, making butterfinger bb's, punching a grumper, seeing a man about a horse or wallaby', 'planting a brown carrot') or with a vague and fairly rigid literalism.

Most expressly, in English, shit carries an encompassing variety of figurative meanings. Of these, perhaps the most common are generic expressions of displeasure (as in, Shit!), fear (Oh, shit!), or surprise (Holy shit!).

Shit denotes trouble, as in, I was in a lot of shit; low quality, as in, That disk drive is shit; unpleasantness, as in, Those pants look like shit, or This casserole tastes like shit; or falsehood or insincerity, as in, Don't give me that shit, or You're full of shit. The word bullshit also denotes false or insincere discourse. (Horseshit is roughly equivalent, while chickenshit means cowardly and batshit indicates a person is crazy). Are you shitting me!? is a question sometimes given in response to an incredible assertion. An answer that reasserts the veracity of the claim is, I shit you not.

Shit can also be used as a comparative noun; for instance, This show is funny as shit!, or This test is hard as shit, or That was stupid as shit. For the third example here, stupid can be replaced with a synonym such as dumb or idiotic, although idiotic is uncommonly used and would sound out of place in this phrase. These three usages (with funny, hard, and stupid or another synonym of stupid) are heard most commonly in the United States. Note that shit is both a positive and negative thing in these examples, shit being apparently very funny (a positive thing) and in the second and third examples very hard (as in, difficult- a negative thing to be) or very stupid. Note also that in a phrase like this, the speaker doesn't include the term as before the comparison- saying that something is as funny as shit would sound like a criticism to anyone reading the term (shit not being a very funny thing to be), although if spoken could be understood along with the spirit it's said in. Using the as changes these phrases from a simple colloquialism to a literal statement.

Shit can comfortably stand in for the terms bad and nothing in many instances (Dinner was good, but the movie was shit. You're all mad at me, but I didn't do shit!). Many usages are idiomatic. The phrase, I don't give a shit denotes indifference. I'm shit out of luck usually refers to someone who is at the end of their wits or who has no remaining viable options. That little shit shot me in the ass, suggests an individual of small rectitude.

However, in such a nominative construction, crap (as in, That little crap shot me in the ass) is not accepted vernacular English. A more likely phrasing would be, that little crap-head, or that little turd. Of further note is that little shit is common as a term of opprobrium, while big shit is unfamiliar, and that direct scatological appellations are rarely applied to females, for whom gender-specific terms such as bitch or cunt more readily accrue. (However, in Britain and Australia, the term cunt is used to refer to men very much more frequently than to women, so it is not really a gender-specific term.)

In Get your shit together! the term may refer to some set of personal belongings or tools, or to one's wits, composure, or attention to the task at hand. He doesn't have his shit together suggests he is failing rather broadly, with the onus laid to multiple personal shortcomings, rather than bad luck or outside forces. Shit can even be a plain, neuter pronoun for basically anything in vulgar speech. EG, in There is some serious shit going down shit can easily be replaced by stuff with no real loss of meaning (the same goes for Get your shit together! and the like).

"When the shit hits the fan" is usually used to refer to a specific time of confrontation or trouble, which requires decisive action. This is often used in reference to combat situations and the action scenes in movies, but can also be used for everyday instances that one might be aprehensive about. "I don't want to be here when the shit hits the fan!" indicates that the speaker is dreading this moment (which can be anything from an enemy attack to confronting an angry parent or friend). "He's the one to turn to when the shit hits the fan." is an idication that the person being talked about is dependable and will not run from trouble or abandon their allies in though situations. The concept of this phrase is simple enough, as the actual substance striking the rotating blades of a fan would cause a messy and unpleasant situation (much like being in the presence of a manure spreader). Whether or not this has actually happened, or if the concept is simply feasible enough for most people to immagine the result wihout needing it to be demonstrated, is unknown. Another example might be the saying "Shit rolls down hill" particularly illustrating, the consequences of putting your superiors in a bad position at work. There are a number of anecdotes and jokes about such situations, however, as the imagery of these situations is considered to be funny. This is generally tied-in with the concept that disgusting and messy substances spilled onto someone else is humorous.

While the most common uses of shit are figurative, the unpleasant substance to which the term literally refers is seldom entirely absent, and thus most uses of shit have some degree of pejoration. But this is far from a universal rule: In some styles of discourse, shit can replace nearly any noun. In the sentence, "I bought a bunch of shit at the store today", shit is merely a casual intensification of the term, stuff. Similarly, Check that shit out! connotes surprise at some sort of stuff or activity that could very well be pleasant. Give me a bite of that shit implies a deliciousness notably absent from the literal substance. It's common for someone to refer to an unpleasant thing as hard shit (You got a speeding ticket? Man, that's some hard shit), but the phrase tough shit is used as an unsympathetic way of saying too bad to whomever is having problems (You got arrested? Tough shit, man!) or as a way of expressing to someone that they need to stop complaining about a negative thing that occurred to them and just deal with it (Billy: I got arrested because of you! Tommy: Tough shit, dude, you knew you might get arrested when you chose to come with me.) Note that in this case, as in many cases with the term, tough shit is often said as a way of pointing out someone's fault in his/her own current problem. To drug users, shit almost always refers to a drug being discussed. This was a secret code in the early 60s, and though most people now understand that in phrases like "I bought some good shit today, I can't wait to try it", the usage of the phrase is still common.

Perhaps the only constant connotation that shit reliably carries is that the referent to which it applies holds some degree of emotional intensity for the speaker. Whether offense is taken at hearing the word varies greatly according to listener and situation, and is related to age and social class: elderly speakers and those of (or attaining to) higher socioeconomic strata tend to use it more privately and selectively than younger and more blue-collar speakers. Regardless, it is highly improbable that any native English speaker of any age or social position can truthfully claim never to have used the word. Moreover, in some colloquial speech, calling something or someone the shit is laudatory. For instance, Dave's new car is the shit, suggests that Dave's new car is very good, or very cool. This meaning is also essentially a substitution for the term stuff, but is also similar to the vernacular usage of bad to mean dangerous and deserving of respect. Crap is unknown in such locutions.

Adjective
As an adjective, to be shitty usually denotes low quality: This is a shitty train. It can mean to feel ill or guilty: John felt shitty today, or, referring to an action, it can mean to be contemptible or immoral: That was a shitty thing to do to her. The noun form is often interchangeable with the adjectival, especially when referring to objects and intangibles. Ex.: This is a shit train, or The weather was shit today. The positive adjective form is to refer to something as being "the shit." This usage is often used to refer to; oneself "I'm the Shit!", an event "That concert was the shit!", or anything particularly great "Tangerines are the shit!"

The verb to shit
The verb, to shit, is most commonly used to refer to the literal act of defecation, but it can also mean to treat badly or to humiliate (I got shit on for being late, He shit all over my project), or to produce something carelessly (I was hoping for a project we could all be proud of, but Dave just goes and shits something out at the last minute). The past participle of to shit is attested as shat, shit, or shitted, depending on dialect and sometimes the rhythm of the sentence. In American English shit as a past participle is always correct, while shat is generally acceptable and shitted is uncommon. In the Prologue of the Canterbury Tales, "shitten" is used as the past participle.

Usage of shits occurs in three types of common English. Although not formal, shits as a verb (Mark shits in the morning) is still correct, but this tense is not widely used, as takes a shit is more direct in meaning. As a noun (Those little shits) refers to children or people of low status, such as Freshman to upper classmen on any level. Lastly, the shits is euphemistic for diarrhea (That bean burrito dip gave me the shits!!).

Shit (like fuck) is often used more to add emphasis than meaning: Shit! I was so shit-scared of that shithead that I shit-talked him into dropping out of the karate match. The term, to shit-talk, connotes bragging or exaggeration (whereas to talk shit primarily means to gossip [about someone in a damaging way] or to talk in a boastful way about things which are erroneous in nature), but in such constructions as the above, the word shit often functions as an interjection. Euphemisms for shit in this usage include shoot, shucks, and in Hiberno-English sugar and its Irish equivalent siúcra (pronounced /ʃuːkrə/.

Shit itself can be a quasi-euphemism, many illicit drugs (notably hashish) being referred to as shit. To be shitfaced is to be extremely drunk.

Other parts of speech
Non-native English speakers should take note that shit and fuck often serve different uses as expletives, such that (for instance) the gerund, shitting, is rarely used emphatically. Ex.: In the sentence, I was so shit-scared of that shithead that I shit-talked him into dropping out of the shitting karate match, the phrase, shitting karate match, would be incomprehensible to native speakers except in suggesting a singularly unsanitary form of karate. (In the UK, phrases such as shitting hell as an emphatic are not unknown.) A correct and clear vulgarism would be, the fucking karate match. Similarly, shit is never used as an infix: While in-fucking-credible is comprehensible English, in-shitting-credible is not. Shit you! is likewise a puzzling and ineffective expression of defiance. It is not uncommon, however, to encounter an adjective constructed partially of the word shit, such as "Shittastic" or "Shittacular".

Sometimes in family movies, some actors let the word shit slip, but then stretch it into a harmless word. An example of this occurring are in Spy Kids, where Carmen is heard to say, "Oh, shit...take mushrooms." The euphemism was also written into Spy Kids 2, where Carmen says, "You are full of shiitake mushrooms." (The crowd was offended anyway.)

"Shit" is very commonly used in the Dutch language, expressing a general discomfort with a certain situation ("Shit!"), or to describe the situation itself. ("I'm in deep shit"). It is not as offensive to Dutch speakers as it is to English, but one would not use it in a formal situation. The use of it by children is discouraged by adults, teaching them substitutes like chips (In Dutch pronounced as the English ships). "Shit" is most commonly used as a replacement of the more obscene word "kut", meaning "cunt", "Kut" is mostly used in the same way as "shit" is in the Dutch language.

Some users of English in the Far East use the expression nose shit to describe the fragments of dried nasal mucus which occasionally exit (deliberately or accidentally) from the nostrils. Similarly, expressions eye shit and less commonly ear shit describe discharge of the eye, dried or still moist, and ear wax, respectively.

Acceptance
Recently the word shit has become increasingly acceptable on American television and radio (in Britain and Australia this has been the case for some time, although fuck and cunt remain mainly taboo). Many songs with the word shit in them are now slipping past censors on the radio.

A good example is the episode of South Park "It Hits The Fan" in which the citizens of South Park use the word shit 162 times, as counted by a counter at the bottom left corner of the screen. This episode is currently airing as early as primetime left fully intact.

The hit drama on the FX network, Nip/Tuck as well as FX's other late-night dramas, 30 Days, The Shield and Rescue Me, are frequently using the word without censoring.

In Canada, shit and even fuck are commonly aired uncensored on primetime tv. A good example is the Canadian sitcom Trailer Park Boys where words like shit, fuck, and even creative phrases like "shitbat" are used many times per episode.

In the song "Man in the Box" by Alice in Chains, the line "Buried in my shit" was played unedited over most rock radio stations.

In the radio venue, certain songs are being played with the word intact as well. In Steve Miller's "Jet Airliner", many radio stations leave in the line "funky shit going down in the city". Likewise, the Bob Dylan song "Hurricane" has a line about having no idea "what kind of shit was about to go down". Both of these songs were released with a "radio edit" version that is progessively being unplayed by radio stations throughout the United States.

Guess we Canadians have it good. We can hear the swear words on television and we got the Trailer Park Boys. HA HA HA HA HA

Out for now.....MPD

Layne Staley

2006-04-05T19:35:00.000-04:00

What really can be said about Layne that hasnlt already been said? It's been four years since his death but, that voice will never be forgotten. I remember when grunge came in and I wasn't very happy about it being the "new thing" as hard rock and heavy metal lost more and more ground to grunge. I remember the first time hearing Alice in Chains. It was the song "Them Bones" and from the opening scream from Layne, I was hooked. That voice came to be the definition of the genre of grunge. Whenever I think of it, Layne is the first person and AIC is the first band I always think of. I just wish that Layne was still with us and could have gotten over his demons. Even though grunge has came and gone there are some things that remain and always will. Layne will always be remembered. His voice is unforgettable and unmistakeable which is rare to a genre of music where there was so many "next big grunge band" Layne stood above them all. Rest in Peace Layne. You may be gone but, will never be forgotten. That I am sure of.

Out for now..........MPD

Microsoft, John Ritter, Stephen King, and a Pirate

2006-04-03T21:50:00.000-04:00

Thought I would write while I sat here and fed my nicotine habit. I have a few things to write about today. After formatting my computer I encountered a problem I have never had before. I have installed Microsofts Service Pack 2 many many times. Today I get a "Page cannot be displayed" error. Not just my browser, everything. Yahoo Messenger would barely hook up, MSN Messenger would not at all, my Gmail, couldn't get signed on at all. Now, I am far from stupid when it comes to a computer. Actually I am quite good at them and solve most of my issues easily. I figured out the problem with SP2 pretty easily enough as well. UNINSTALL IT !!! Fixed that problem quickly and easily but, also got me thinking. Truthfully, in MY opinion Microsoft is crap always has been and always will be. The thing is, it's easy to learn, very easy. So now they got me in a dilemma. Do I want to learn another operating software program as well as I understand XP or any of the other Windows ? Of course I don't !! I am as lazy as the rest of you. They made it too easy for us and now we just stick with it no matter what. Crap. or not. Anyone that knows an fix for the Service Pack 2 please let me know ok ?

I watched an old Stephen King classic while I ate supper. I saw the movie " It " on DVD the other day and just HAD to have it. Some movies never go out of style, especially a Stephen King movie.

When I started the movie I had completely forgot about John Ritter being in it. John is one of my favourite comedic actors. He was a true legend in the comedy field. I still watch old reruns of Threes Company whenever I get the chance. I’m sure he is missed by a lot of people. Rest in peace, John.

I finally went out and bought Stephen Kings book On Writing . An aspiring writer named Pirate that I talk to advised me with my talent and passion, I really needed to buy that book. So far reading it I have to say that Pirate was right. Thanks for the advice, much appreciated.

Seems that’s all there is in my head so see ya soon folks

Out for now

MPD

Jerry the Satanist

2006-04-01T01:04:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was one of those days where I decided to keep to myself, and, just be alone with me. Sometimes when life seems to be getting difficult a person needs days like that In the days of yesteryear I would have solved those problems with some good old fashioned alcohol or dope. To me, marijuana was for the stoner potheads and, I was never a good pothead. I was from the generation of the chemical, cocaine, speed, fiorinal, and my good ole sleep aid mogodon, all the good stuff. Or so I thought it was at the time anyway. Those days are well behind me now.

So I went searching for answers to the thoughts in my head. I went to websites that were about part of my heritage. I come from a family that is Irish/Indian and sometimes the Indian side (Cree) has the answers I need.

My search continued over the course of the next couple of hours when I stumbled onto something. After link upon link I could not believe my eyes. Here was a man that I knew of as a kid growing up. I will call this man Jerry to keep his anonymity. It would seem Jerry has changed quite drastically to when I knew him. He looked like a very happy, content person.

Now lets start with the story.

When I was around thirteen or fourteen there was a huge scare of gargantuan proportion. I came from a small town so any big news was huge to everyone.

People in the neighbouring town where I had a lot of friends started to find cats as well as other small animals dead. Some were hung by the neck to trees, others sliced open and completely gutted. Then soon enough pentagrams would accompany the small animals that were butchered. Soon enough the stories got bigger and bigger and before anyone knew it the news was all over Canada. A satanic cult in this small town made the newspaper where my aunt lived in British Columbia which is three thousand miles away from me.

The religious zealots were totally aghast that something like this was unleashed upon their small town and they wanted answers. They soon got more than they bargained for and soon the “cult” showed themselves and at the reigns of this cult was Jerry. Jerry back then was a scary dude I will admit this much but, a true servant of Satan with enormous power? I doubted it then as much as I do now.

After a while as these things always do it lost its grip on small town rural life and life went on. Cult, or not. Soon even Jerry owned up to the fact that it was nothing more than just to freak people out and, the fact that they were bored. To say the least I was pissed. How dare he bring something out so big that it freaked out a whole population as well as a lot of Canada as well. Its not like I wanted to see the four horsemen or the beast itself. Ok maybe a big part of me did because I am that kind of person who really digs the dark side of things. Why else do you think I like to watch horror movies or write about horror? Its the fascination of it all. The fact that maybe Satan was going to land in that small town next to me did intrigue me greatly. After a while Jerrys celebrity status went back to nil and life as well as I forgave him. Since that day I have had great respect for Jerry. Jerry along with a few teenagers did something not a lot of people in their lives can accomplish. He pulled off a mass hysteria of great proportion and it all started from an idea, his idea.

Jerry looked happy from the pictures on his website and he looked like he was where he was supposed to be. Now he helps people and uses his true talents which is music in case you were wondering. Looking at him and seeing the change did have an effect on me . Sometimes you go down paths you don’t need to go down or shouldnt but, as long as the end result is that you find the place where you are supposed to be, that is all that counts.

Out for now

MPD

My Short & Long story blog

2006-03-26T18:35:00.000-05:00

I just started another blog where I will put all my short And long stories. I did it to not cram this blog. My collection of stories will be HERE or theres a link to it under "Short & Long stories" on this blog as well. Enjoy the newest one folks.

Out for now......MPD

Sites added to my blog

2006-03-25T17:14:00.000-05:00

Added two sites to my page today. Life Hacker and Damn Jezebel . Life Hacker has TONS of useful info and Jezebels I liked because of how well laid out the site is and how good it looks. Check them out. They're both worth the peek.

Out for now.....MPD

The Punisher and I

2006-03-25T00:35:00.000-05:00

Which Marvel Super Hero Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

After the murder of his wife and kids, FBI agent Frank Castle abandoned his faith in a corrupt legal system and became the Punisher, a relentless vigilante determined to wipe out crime and corruption by any means necessary. Hunted by the police, feared by the criminals, and offering hope to the people of the slums, the Punisher is a force to be reckoned with. "It's not vengeance," he says. "It's punishment."

I took a "What superhero would you be?" test that one of my buddies sent me today and after answering it thats the guy I got. Ironically, The Punisher was my number two superhero fave as a kid. I liked what we stood for. Just bootfucking the scumbags, any scumbag. If you were a scumbag, The Punisher would get you. Sooner or later. I have to admit that bootfucking someone I consider a scumbag sounds like a hell of a lot of fun to me too. But seriously, even he had his good side. He helped people out that were innocent and would never harm them. Turn into a scumbag though and I am sure you know what they would get. Yes, just like the above mentioned, a bootfucking. For example, I went in to the neighbourhood Wal-Mart to get a DVD surround sound system because my honey told me they were on sale. So, walking to the store from the parking lot an old man was walking in front of me and so being who I am, I of course got impatient. I didn't really get the chance to skirt around him once we hit the crossing. He stopped and looked for vehicles coming and went across. After all he did have the right of way but, a person with a mini van thought otherwise. I saw them turning and they came straight at the man. To me I don't think they saw him at the speed they were going. Instinct served me right again and I pulled the man from the path of the van and into me. The van kept going without as much as a hesitation. Truthfully I think they saw him at the last second but saw me do what I did and decided to not stop and possibly get, you got it folks A BOOTFUCKING !!! The old man was scared shitless when he fell into me but, I just straightened up his senior dishevelled self and said "There ya go". He walked with me across the rest of the crosswalk. Probably thought it was safest for him and he stopped me at the entrance shook my hand and thanked me. I just smiled at him and said "No problem Sir. Have a good night." I did some thinking as I hunted for my treasure. That DVD surround system that was on sale that I must acquire. You know something folks. I may be an unreasonable brute at times (ask my girlfriend about that one) and yes I am cynical a lot of the time and sure bootfucking scumbags does sound like a really cool way to spend a Saturday night. When it all comes down to it though, even though I may have those "bad qualities" as some would call them. I do know and see what is right and what is wrong. Like an old man getting run down in a crosswalk, that is just plain wrong. Sure he may be old but hey he's probably got a wife,kids & grandkids, people who would miss him horribly had I not saved him from being run over. So, I went with that because this unreasonable brute may be the way he is but he still has the capacity to love and care for the ones he holds dearest to his heart and if what I did today for that old man is my redeeming quality, I guess I must have some heart after all. Just not for scumbags

Out for now.............MPD

Random thought from my Big Evil head

2006-03-23T19:57:00.000-05:00

Today I had a simple thought that made a lot of sense to me. I bought smokes from the usual gas station I get them from. The guy behind the counter said as he always does "Have a good one my friend." That's when it hit me. If he really wishes me and his fellow man good fortune, wouldn't he want us to have more than one ? I mean the gesture is nice but, if they are that good would one really suffice ? And why can I only have one? To me if I was to want my fellow man to have good fortune I would wish him to "Have a good three, or seventeen or fifty-six. But then again maybe I want more for my fellow man than he does. Who knows ?

To answer my friend Pauls question about what seven songs I am into right at this moment. That's easy. I can give you fifteen actually. Queensryche "Operation Mindcrime" the entire cd.
How's that for thorough ?

Anyways whoever reads this knows the drill about tagging and stuff
If not Go here to find out the rules

Out for now....MPD

He ain't heavy. He's my Brother

2006-03-21T23:55:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I decided to try to strip my wood floors and listen to one of my all time fave bands, Queensryche. An old girlfriend introduced me to their music almost twenty years ago and I was instantly hooked right then by the tune "Eyes of a Stranger. I immediately felt like I could relate to what they sung about as well as Eddie Jackson's wicked bass liness. That is the first tune I ever learned to play on the bass because the bass line is so wicked. Anyway while trying that unsuccessful endeavour gave me loads of time to reflect and think just to myself. All of the sudden my brothers voice came into my head and asked the same question he asked me many years ago. "What is it that you think you want?" Now really my brother isn't my biological brother. I met him twenty years ago now and even though we are vastly different we took the plunge about fifteen years ago and became "Blood Brothers". We didn't do it with a knife or a pin. We used the same needle to get tattooed. That's how much trust we had in each other. My brother Jeff asked me that question because he seen me at my "prime" as I will call it and asked me that directly after I told the girl I was dating at the time to get the fuck out of my house because if you dont like it, leave. Even though he is a brash, opinionated and tough as nails, he knew what I did was wrong because now that I look at it he was right. She was a nice girl but just got mixed up with me and at the time I had a steady diet of cocaine and alcohol. Seriously I think she saw more in me than I saw in myself and yes she did try to bring out the best in me because she knew it was there. I was just too busy for anyones psychoanalysis at the time. My brother wasn't exactly impressed with me over that one. He always wanted the best for me and even told me that it might be too late for him but I still have a chance. Guess he saw more promise in me as well and coming from him that is a real compliment. He would have made a good mercenary or contract killer I think because he sure has the balls for that but throughout all of that he has remained close to me all of these years. Even through my times of going completely off into left field and there is no denying when I went off into left field I was a whole hell of a lot of fun. Even he will tell you that. I think when he asked me that in my head the other day I think it was a get back on track kind of thing that happened. Even though we live a fair distance apart, he is always there through thick and thin whenever I need him.

Out for now.....MPD

Writings from the heart

2006-03-19T00:43:00.000-05:00

Someone once told me that it isn't all about the money, it's what comes from the heart that's important. I created this blog as a start of the way things should be and the way I should be. Or at least how my writing should be anyway. I don't think I will ever put this old blog to rest because that is my past and sometimes a little reminder how you once were every so often isn't a bad thing. Life ain't easy boys and girls no matter how many pairs of rose coloured glasses you wear, once you take them off it's still the same. Life is how each person decides to make it and what they choose to do with it is what counts to each and every one of us. I don't see anything wrong with making money with something so simple as a place where your thoughts are and can make money at it all the same time. To most, that is a dream come true. To do nothing and make money, who wouldn't dig that ? Personally it is my own personal dream of being paid what I love to do the most, writing. I hope someday to be able to do that,my passion, my dream, writing. Writing what is inside my mind and what is in my heart no matter what it is because it is mine, all mine. Now, when I look back at some of those blog entries from way back then I think to myself, that my friend is some scary shit. But, we each have our own personal demons,vices etc that we must if we choose to keep them at bay. Myself, I choose to keep mine at a very safe distance because it is better for me, and everyone close to me. You know though when I read over them there was one thing that stuck in my mind as I read them. They all were from my heart, my mind and my soul. Just like someone once told me. It isn't about the money. It's what's from the heart that counts

Out for now..........Still MPD

A letter to Axl

2006-03-06T04:46:00.000-05:00

A Letter to Axl Rose

You see what I'm seeing here Axl? I'm seeing a man that still after all these years has great passion for music. But did you ever think that maybe you were missing something ? Sometimes, we let things get in the way of making great things in our lives. You Axl have made a generation on your music, your look and your ideals. Sure glam had already started but you were one of the pioneers of that generation. That generation I was a part of as well. The long hair, drink til you fall down, drugs a plenty and women. In short Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll. I wouldn't have changed it for the world to be in another generation. I am very proud to have had the honour to be part of all of that and have all the great music. But Axl you have to see the light man. Your current incarnation of G'N'R just is not the Gunners. G'N'R is You,Slash,Duff,Izzy and hell even Steven. I completely understand that money changes things and perspectives on anyone but, we have to be true to who was there for us in the beginning and who helped us become us. I know it's hard to swallow pride especially pride when you were the head of the machine known as Guns'N'Roses. But dude, it just isn't the same. Sure I have heard some of your new stuff via the internet and I respect you as an artist and as well I have heard Velvet Revolver as well and I respect them as well as artists. Scott Weiland is one of my fave singers and I am not slamming him in any way shape or form but with Velver Revolver and your line up of G'N'R it all comes down to this. Without you,Slash,Duff,Izzy and hell yes still even Steven it just isn't the Guns'N'Roses that gave us our piece of sleazy youth that anyone from that time cherishes so much. Think about it ok ?

A true G'N'R fan.................MPD

The flu and the fates

2006-02-17T01:23:00.000-05:00

Well loyal readers I am back now after a hiatus. But now it seems that I have caught this nasty flu. I was feeling better until about an hour ago. As I layed in bed I started to get hotter and hotter and realized to my glee. IT'S BACK IT'S BACK !!! Oh my how i have missed being able to shit through the eye of a needle at fifty paces these last few blissful hours. I even told my better half that I was probably going to work tomorrow. Guess I spoke too soon on that note. God I do not enjoy how the fates toy with me sometimes. They give it and take it away just as fast, the fuckers. But now I think it's time to go try and sleep again even though I feel like I am in a raging inferno.

Out for now............MPD

Tookie Williams

2005-12-13T01:53:00.000-05:00

I found this letter on the net when I was reading a few minutes ago. It made a lot of sense to me when I read it. Guess tonight's the night huh folks? Arnie said no deal to the clemency for Tookie. So tonight Tookie takes that final step as he should. We all have to pay for our crimes and atone for everything we do man. It's called life, as well as fate. We reap what we sow. Some of us just reap more than others in our lifetime.

Out for now

MPD

Career planning

2005-12-11T01:51:00.000-05:00

A doctor working at a psychiatric hospital was making his rounds to prospective patients that would be leaving soon to pursue careers. The first room he arrived at was Mr. Smiths room. When he walked into the room Mr. Smith was mopping the floor. "Hello Mr. Smith. What are you up to today?" the doctor asked. Mr Smith said, "I'm going to be a janitor when I leave." The doctor congratulated him and wished him a fond farewell. Onto the next room where Mrs. Jones resided. She was washing the windows when the doctor came into her room. "Hello doctor, when I get out I am going to be a window washer." He was very pleased and wished her a fond farewell too. The last patient of his follow up was just around the corner, Mr. Johnson. The doctor was aghast at what he saw when he walked into Mr. Johnson's room. There was Mr. Johnson laying spread eagle on the lineoleum floor naked with an erection. On the tip of his erection was a single peanut. "Mr Johnson, what is the meaning of this?" The patient looked at the doctor calmly and said. "I'm fuckin nuts Doc. They're never gonna let me out of here."

Baking Xmas cookies at its finest

2005-12-10T00:33:00.000-05:00

This is my kind of baking!!!
>
>Christmas Cookies
>
>1 cup of water
>1 tsp baking soda
>1 cup of sugar
>1 tsp salt
>1 cup of brown sugar
>Lemon juice
>4 large eggs
>1 cup nuts
>2 cups of dried fruit
>1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
>
>Sample the Cuervo to check quality.
>Take a large bowl,
>Check the Cuervo again to be sure it is of the highest quality,
>pour one level cup and drink.
>Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large bowl.
>Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
>At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try
>another cup just in case.
>Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and
>chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
>Pick the frigging fruit off floor.
>Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers
>just! pry it loose with a drewscriver.
>Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
>Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.
>Check the Jose Cuervo.
>Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
>Add one table.
>Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
>Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall
>over.
>Don't forget to beat off the turner.
>Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo
>and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
>
>CHERRY MISTMAS!!
>Enjoy!!

Jokes

2005-12-07T01:19:00.000-05:00

Got some joke for all my loyal readers

To the tune of ABC's
A, B, C, D, LSD, Gummy Bears are chasing me.
Red ones, Green ones, Blue ones too. A Purple one just ate my shoe.
If you want to see them too, I will save some LSD for you.

For the people in British Columbia

Now I pass out into sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
Grant no other stoner take
My weed and bong before I wake
Keep me safely in thy sight
And grant no crackheads thrill tonight
And in the morning let me awake
Breathing scents of wake and bake
God protect me in my dreams
and make this better than it seems
Grant the time may swiftly fly
When myself shall be so high
In a green grass weed bed
Where I long to rest my head
Far away from all these scenes
And the smell of bammer smoked by beans
Take me back into the land
Where the cops never take you out
Where the weed wont burn my throat like sand
Where the scent of chronic blows
Where the good Mary Jane grows
Take me back and I promise then
Never to leave BC again

Ok thats all for now.

Out for now....MPD

Stan "Tookie" Williams

2005-12-03T22:52:00.000-05:00

This could be a long post folks so hopefully you hang on until the end. It's been a while since I have read anything about the Crips Co-founder Stan "Tookie" Willams. Tookie along with Raymond Lee Washington in South Central Los Angeles formed what is known today as the "Crips". Now while I have read a lot about him and his trial(s) I am not sure whether or not the man is guilty. Admittedly he is guilty of being a gang member which he does not deny at all. But over the last quarter century he has spent in prison I think that Tookie has become a decent person and has seen what he has done to the people when he was loose in the streets back then. If anyone knows anything about the testimonies and evidence about this case, it isn't hard to see that they were looking for a scapegoat if you will and found Tookie in the right place at the wrong time. Now let me clear this up as I have with the people I know that are active Crip members as of today. Yes it very well could be that they found a decent scapegoat with Tookie. It could have been a simple railroad job that landed him in prison and now, with a death penalty because even with todays "political correctness" it's hard for a black man to maintain his innocence especially if he is a gang member and folks that is just plain wrong. The people I know who are active Crip members would give me the shirt off of their backs if I needed it or would help me any way they could if I needed it because I have gave what they would more than willingly return back to me, loyalty, respect as well as honour. But my point is this and Tookie should know this as well as I or anyone else. If you live by the sword you die by the sword. If he has done these crimes he was prosecuted for then he should have the honour of a gang member and accept his fate. If the situation were reversed and someone that was close to Tookie was murdered or raped or whatever I know how it works and that person would not have stayed alive for another twenty years. They would have been lucky to be alive another twenty-four hours after Tookie found out. Tookie I have a few things left to say before I close this post. In some way I hope you get to read this and know that if you are innocent there are people that still believe in you regardless or your race or colour or past associations. But, if the other is carried out and you pass on. Godspeed brother.

Out for now..........MPD

Stan "Tookie" Williams Website"

John Corabi/ex Motley Crue

2005-12-03T02:44:00.000-05:00

Got into some old Motley today. You know that cd without Vince on it ? I may be an outcast but I think 1994's self titled cd "Motley Crue" is one of the best they ever put out. Sure I know Vince isn't on it but it is a prime cd that I still enjoy to this day. John Corabi is an exceptional talent to me and always been an idol to me right next to Nikki Sixx. So I went searching for videos on the net today and found one that I will post on this entry for Crue/Corabi fans to watch if they want to. I am sure that Paul over at Psycho Circus will dig it because he's a Crue fan to. And to all of the other Crue/Corabi fans that come across this blog. Enjoy the video.

Out for now.............MPD

MISUNDERSTOOD (Motley Crue)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Monday old men and boogers

2005-11-29T01:27:00.000-05:00

Today was just a Monday, rain and shit but, still no snow so that's cool. Worked my ass of today but we got mega done at work so the powers that be were happy. When I was walking to the cafeteria for lunch I looked across the factory and there was one of the older men standing there picking his nose and then, he ate it !!! Fuck me I could not believe my eyes. I thought about that and wondered if there was a medical term for it but found nothing but I did find This Article . Now tell me after you read that isn't that some fucked up stuff ?? I'm pretty sure I wont take it up or encourage any of my children to do so either. Ok time for me to split and go get my honey for lunch. I know it's the middle of the night so technically it would be more like breakfast but I will call it whatever I want!!!

Out for now....MPD

This weeks celeb bassist

2005-11-27T23:24:00.000-05:00

What a shitty day out. It went from snow to rain but, on the upside it's a lot warmer so that's kinda cool I guess. Spent some quality time in bed today with my honey but it's not what ya think ya pervs. We just vegged out and she went to sleep because she works nights and no kids were home so it was perfect. I really couldn't come up with a celeb bassist until I talked to a bud who is also a hair/glam metal fan and he hooked me up with some super-groovy tunes I hadn't heard in years and when I heard those tunes my lightbulb came on. So now ladies and germs guess this weeks celeb bassist.

Update !!!

Wow I can't believe I screwed that up. The dude above is the GUITAR PLAYER from the band NOT the bassist. And I call myself a hair/glam trivia buff. Geeeeeeeeez the dude below is the bassist. I know I got it right this time.

Out for now...........MPD

Oh Freakin Canada !!

2005-11-27T01:19:00.000-05:00

YIPPEE YAAAAAAAAAY !!! OH FREAKIN CANADA !!! We have snow now. Isn't that lovely ??? Maybe it's because I am older now but I hate it !!! My hands get cold and ache and hurt like hell when I am out in it. Tammy says it's because I am getting old and did too many stupid things with my hands when I was younger. I told her that's bullshit I never hit anyone. They just kept smashing their face into my fists repeatedly so how is that MY fault ?? Today was cool though, nice day just now it's FREAKIN WINTER out. Spent most of the day indoors though and only had one kid though because the older one was hanging with his buddies looking cool and the youngest was at some church thingy. So it was just him and I with my honey asleep all day. Then oldest comes home to eat. I know I know a teenager that just comes home to eat, weird huh ? So I take all three kids to Burger King. That place is a rip off anymore. The youngest and the middle child get into it and both are pissy then. So I get them home and told the girl if she can't take what she dishes out then don't play at all. Then the oldest eats and books it out the door again to his buddies to look cool some more and misses curfew and no phone call. I got the job of hunting him down because I think Tammy was too pissed by then but, I found him easily and loaded him in the car and got him home and now he's grounded for another week because last week he got too into looking cool and forgot to call....again. I never thought I would ever live long enough to have a successful relationship and be corralling teenagers home. I thought my days of being an enforcer were over long ago when I left that lifestyle to become a normal person. Now, I am a normal person but, a different type of enforcer emerges. A person that has found his place with the people and place he calls home.

Out for now.............MPD

A day of utter foolishness

2005-11-23T01:54:00.000-05:00

I got the dishes done and had my smoke so now I can blog about something. Woke up at noon today because I heard someone pounding something from about 10:30 on. My first thought was what the hell was my girlfriend pounding downstairs. So an hour and a half later I get up to investigate. So I'm not quick on the draw in the morning, sue me. I came downstairs and two of the three kids are home for lunch. They are all smiles when they see me as usual and ya know the more I look at the girl the more she's starting to look like her mom. It's a very good thing though because her mom is a knock out I think but, not good for when the girl gets older and the boys start comin around. For that I can wait and I am sure her mother can too. Ya know I think it's time I take them out again soon for a day of utter foolishness. I'll have to see what I can come up with on that I guess. I'm sure I can figure out something cuz I'm not exactly sane at all times myself either. So for now I think I'll go have a smoke, then grab the woman for lunch then drag my insane ass up to bed. See ya all soon !!!

Out for now

MPD

I fought the law and I won

2005-11-22T01:07:00.000-05:00

I sure as fuck am glad Monday is over. It was interesting though. As I was getting out of the shower my doorbell rang. So I'm putting on my smoking jacket as I am coming down the stairs and almost fell down the freakin things. I was trying to get there before the person rang it again because my honey works nights and she was sleeping so I didn't want the doorbell to wake her. I open the door with my very cool smoking jacket on and there was some dude standing there. He hands me a card and says he's a bailiff and he's here about the 98 Contour (MY CAR). It goes like this. I got behind in my car payments and "The Man" decided to do a repo on it but I had the last laugh on "The Bailiff" because I paid it all off last week and now up to date on my payments once again. But, he doesn't believe me so I show him a receipt and he gets the account number and uses his cellphone and calls the finance company. Seems that there is a lack of COMMUNICATION in that office and they forgot to back "The Bailiff" off of me and MY CAR. So he finds out I am right and leaves and waves so I waved back and said "later dickwad". Oh speaking of dickwads I have been reading a couple blogs lately and I am trying to figure out which dude is fucked up more Merkley??? or The Married Man . These dudes are in serious need of meds but they are funny as hell to read. Guess that's it for now

Out for now

MPD

Coca Cola and weird sex stuff

2005-11-20T23:15:00.000-05:00

Hello all my loyal readers

This weekend was pretty decent actually. My girlfriend and I got to spend a saturday alone for the first time in a long time. She actually came home sick at 3 am Saturday morning. Rare for her to do that cuz she's such a hardcore worker but worked out cool cuz we had a good night one might say. So after getting three hours of sleep (grins to himself) we went to my moms place because she found me a super deal on a set of B.F. Goodrich tires for seventy bucks. Of course I jumped on that but when I go to the tire shop the guy asked me for my wheel key because my car has anti-lock nuts on the rims. As my luck would have it the wheel key was here ON THE COUNTER sixty miles away but, turned out cool cuz I got the tires for fourty bucks and just got them put on later when I got home so all good anyway. Oh before I forget I was looking for old Coca Cola stuff on the good ole internet because the oldest boy wants to do his room with Coke stuff. I think that's kinda cool but I stumbled onto This Site . Now after seeing that can anyone tell me how Coca Cola and anal sex have anything in common? Ok ya I have my ideas but we're not talking about my sick perverted mind here. I'm trying to figure out how these two sites got linked together at all. Just another mystery of life I guess.

Out for now

MPD

Answer to Rock Star question

2005-11-19T23:01:00.000-05:00

Ok kiddies the answer to who sung for Mark Wahlberg's character in the movie Rock Star is the guys pic you see and his name's Mike Matijevic. Mike used to be the vocals for the band Steelheart. The guy has an amazing voice I always thought. If you want to read more about him go Here

Rock and Roll

MPD

The weirdest thing you can do with a potato

2005-11-16T00:53:00.000-05:00

Hey people. Got an idea. Lets see who can do the weirdest thing with a potato. Any photos or ideas I will publish on my blog. Ready ? Set ? Go !!!

Have fun !!

MPD

New stuff on my blog

2005-11-15T02:08:00.000-05:00

Did some revamping tonight. Just some colour changes to make it look more pleasing to the eye. Also figured out how to add a PayPal donation button because I was on my PayPal account and didn't have anything else better to do. So if anyone ever wants to donate it's always appreciated.

Out for now

MPD

Mark Wahlberg Rock Star

2005-11-14T01:45:00.000-05:00

Ok all you rockers and metalheads. Got a quiz going up here. In the 2001 movie "Rock Star" who did the vocals for Marks character Chris "Izzy" Cole ?

One hint......MARK DIDN'T DO ANY OF THEM !!!

Miami Ink

2005-11-13T23:50:00.000-05:00

Here I am blogging my brains out. Actually I am watching Miami Ink on The Learning Channel. There's one tattooist named Kat Von D and her work is amazing. Check out Kat's Stuff with that link. Would love to get her to do one on me sometime. Usually I go to my bro Mark's Shop to get any ink I want done. He's amazing and done most of my tattoos thus far. Ok think I am going to go back watching Miami Ink now.

Peace out people...............MPD

Links to fave Blogs

2005-11-13T02:24:00.000-05:00

The links for my fave blogs is starting to happen. Take a look under "Blogs I dig reading" Some good quality blogs there.

MPD

Jani Lane and a too quiet house

2005-11-13T01:03:00.000-05:00

Ahhhhhhh !!! The boys are in bed and the girl is sleeping at the neighbour girls house tonight. Tammy's gone to work and now it's just me. Man it's quiet. Don't get me wrong, I love em all, I really do. I really don't know what to do when it's like this so I just veg. I remember when I used to love the silence. Guess thats what having a girlfriend and three kids does to a person. Truthfully I wouldn't change it for the world. They all mean the world to me and are my world. I was reading one of my fave sites Metal Sludge and there was an article on Jani Lane of Warrant. I cant believe how much of a mess he looks like now. He went from this Jani Before to this Jani Today . Looks like someone's got some real severe DRINKING PROBLEMS. God, and Jani was one of my heroes too. I loved Warrant, hell I still do. But to see one of your idols look this bad it's just disheartening. Even Vince Neil looks better and I'm sure he hit the excesses just as good or bad as Jani did. Jani come on, I been reading about you and looks like you still haven't got your shit together and by the looks of you it's pretty evident you haven't even tried. Come on Jani you're a "Down Boy" show us what you're made of.

I'm out for now...Just like Jani's sobriety

MPD

Favourite blog links

2005-11-12T21:35:00.000-05:00

Time to spruce up my page a bit more. I'm thinking I am going to put a links to my fave blogs on here so if anyone wants their bloglink on my page just let me know.

Name that bassist

2005-11-12T01:24:00.000-05:00

Got my own sort of game goin. Paul over at Psycho Circus has a game called name that drummer. I asked him if it was cool to do a bassist version and he said it was cool so here ya go !!! Name that bassist

Out for now
MPD

Are all Tim Hortons workers stupid ?

2005-11-12T00:04:00.000-05:00

Today was one of those days when Tammy (my girlfriend) didn't get me a coffee from the nearby Tim Hortons. For you Americans that is the best coffee you can get in Canada. Now I have always thought one thing about the workers from Timmys. That most of them are stupid or maybe mentally challenged. Least if they were retarded that would give them a valid excuse then. With the exception of my sister in law it seems that the rest that work at my corner Timmys are really fucking stupid !!! Now I am not saying that my sis in law isn't stupid so she wont kick the hell out of me because she probably could. She is the exception I assure you of that. But today I order two extra large coffees one with double milk double sugar and the other three sugars and one cream. I get the coffees to go like I usually do but when I get them neither lid is marked to tell me which is which. So, I ask the lady behind the counter if she could tell. She took them looked at them then proceeded to take a china marker and put an "M" on one. I asked her if she was 100% certain that was the one with milk in it because Tammy is adamantly against cream. She looks at me like I am ruining her entire day or I have committed a mortal sin but instead of taking the chance of me making a scene she makes two more. This is when she says one double double with cream and black no sugar? Now tell me folks where the hell do you get that combination from double double with milk and three sugars and one cream? Exasperated I told her the order AGAIN. She then looks at me like I am rude or something. It isn't being rude lady it's called losing patience with a STUPID person. She finally did get it right and I was out of there before I did say something or do something that could get me arrested. I always did wonder if Tim Hortons hires people to just fuck with the smarter populations heads as a joke or something. I wonder what the murder rate is for Tim Hortons workers?

Out for now..........MPD

Page rank tool

2005-11-10T00:02:00.000-05:00

I found this useful little tool skulking around the internet tonight. A pagerank tool for all you hardcore bloggers that like to see the rank of your page according to google. It's with the rest of my banners at the bottom. By the way, I am still 5/10 !!!

Out for now..........MPD

Nasal congestion, phlegm, and metal sludge

2005-11-06T23:31:00.000-05:00

Hey folks. Well still got this god forsaken cold. My chest feels like it's on fire and I have a million and one russian bolshevick dancers dancing on my chest. Paul over at Psycho Circus told me he had this for like a month. A MONTH !!!!! If i have to take a month of this I will be one onery MPD. I can't imagine this for a month. I tried to take my mind off of it and went to my fave metal site Metal Sludge . They always have good articles about the bands and artists I grew up listening to. Great site, give it a try. For now I am out of here and going to try to hack up my other lung. Peace folks..........MPD

Dantes Inferno Test

2005-11-06T09:44:00.000-05:00

This was kinda fun....got it from Addicts Blog. I must be a baaaaaaaad person. Anyway here's the results. The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very High

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Out for now.......MPD

I'm Back !!!

2005-11-05T23:51:00.000-05:00

Ok I think I am finally back after a few days with no internet. I do hate spyware and it seems one got me good. I am back now though so all is good. Now I have to go and read all my fave blogs and catch up. Two blogs I dig are Addicts Blog and Pauls Psycho Circus . Both good blogs I think. Plus right now I have nothing better to do because on top of working on my network to get the computers back online I seem to have accquired a cold. Lucky me !! Bedtime I think to try to ditch this cold

Out for now.....MPD

Google Page Ranking and Search Engine Optimization

2005-10-22T23:34:00.000-04:00

Admittedly, when I first started to look into both subjects I had no idea what it was about. The reason I even found out about it was because I stumbled onto Darren Rowse's Problogger. site. The definition of search engine optimization according to TrendMx.Com. is this: The process of increasing the amount of visitors to a Web site by ranking high in the search results of a search engine. The higher a Web site ranks in the results of a search, the greater the chance that site will be visited by a user. It is common practice for Internet users to not click through pages and pages of search results, so where a site ranks in a search is essential for directing more traffic toward the site.

Now, with that the more traffic you have to your site the more chances you have of making significant revenue if your site has good rankings. Google ranks sites out of 10 the higher the ranking the more important your site is according to Google. To get a higher ranking, your site must have links to it as well as from it. The more links, the higher the ranking, simple actually.

In my opinion Darren Rowse is the E.F. Hutton of Blogging. So when Darren talks, people listen. Or at least they should anyway because this man knows his stuff about blogging. Personally I have read his ProBlogger site forwards backwards and sideways and whatever Darren says is best to make revenue from Blogger. I usually get right on it. Two best examples of revenue from blogs is Google Adsense. and Chitika Mini Malls. I use both on my blog and after a month of research on Google page ranking and search engine optimization I am proud to say that yes I have started to make decent money from both Chitika and Google Adsense as well as achieving a five out of ten on Google Page ranking system. Proudly, I can also say I didn't use any SEO tools to achieve my status, just good old fashioned hard work.

In conclusion, what started out as just a simple blog for me to express myself, it has now become a source of revenue for me. But, a lot of time and effort has went into this as well. Anyone can do it if they really want to become a success but, I would have never done it without Darren.

Out for now............MPD

2005-10-22T21:48:00.000-04:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

My new blog look

2005-10-18T01:00:00.000-04:00

Got the new blog up. Looks funky huh? I know it's kind of gory but I wanted it like that. It was done by a guy named Khai at Khai's Design Site He did a kick ass job. Looks amazing. At least I think it does so, enjoy the new look !!!!

Out for now.........MPD

MPD's Rants, thoughts and other stuff

2005-10-16T02:25:00.000-04:00

Testing out new stuff for my blog. Be patient....Will be worth the wait.......MPD

New look

2005-10-16T01:21:00.000-04:00

Workin on a new look for my blog here so it's just in it's test stages right now. So be patient and it will look groovy ASAP.

MPD

Google adsense and advertising

2005-10-11T00:16:00.000-04:00

Here's an Interesting article from Dave Taylor about Google. Its at this site called, Ask Dave Taylor.

By an amazing coincidence, my friend and colleague Tim Carter just told me that he's in a beta program from Google that is exactly what you're asking me about. Go to Ask The Builder.com and you'll see an interesting new link on the Google AdSense block on his busy site:

Can you see the link here? Advertise on this site is something that's actually added by Google itself when the advertisement is served up.

Now, click on it and here's what you see, served up by Google, not Tim's site:
Google
You might be thinking that this isn't really much of a big deal, but I think it's quite significant, actually, for two reasons: one, it demonstrates that the Google AdWords system is being extended to allow advertisers to bid on specific Web sites.

This also bridges a very important gap in the AdWords program because it finally lets potential advertisers who see a group of AdSense advertisements how they can be included. Sophisticated online advertisers scoff at this because they can already recognize an AdSense block at 100 paces, but the majority of potential online advertisers are lost and find the complexity of bidding and advertising in a pay-per-click (PPC) world hopelessly baffling. For those people, it's been too difficult to connect the dots between seeing a site like Ask The Builder.com (or even Ask Dave Taylor) and knowing how your product or service could be advertised on the site.

This is very exciting news for those of us involved in the AdSense / AdWords world, and I'm looking forward to Google making it more pervasive. Stay tuned, this is going to change the very face of online advertising.

Taken from Dave's site. I really enjoy this site and it's very informative on a variey of topics. Worth the read for sure.

Out for now.........MPD

Adsense tips for bloggers

2005-10-09T00:41:00.000-04:00

Lately I have been seeing more traffic to my blog. Today for example I got 250 hits in three hours. Pretty impressive for a beginner like me I like to think. So again I go over to Darren Rowse's site at Problogger and came to a section on his blog titled Adsense tips for bloggers . I can see how implementing these tips could really increase your revenue quickly. Darren has helped a lot of people make serious cash with Problogger so I think it would be in my best interest as well as anyone elses that is serious about blogging revenue to listen to these tips.

Out for now...........MPD

Sex, what a powerful word

2005-10-05T00:20:00.000-04:00

Check out the number of results in the top right hand corner. Typing that single word into a google search found These results . That's a lot of results isn't it for just typing one word. But when I typed the word "religion" I got These results . Actually I was shocked because I thought of the two words, sex would win for sure. Guess I was wrong.

Out for now.......MPD

Axl Rose

2005-10-02T23:37:00.000-04:00

Ever wonder what happened to him ? This man was a staple of hair-metal and I think everyone loved him at one point in time if you were ever into the 80's and 90's music scene. I found a great article on him Here